Let me preface this by stating that I (M22) met this girl (F21) through Tinder. I don’t remember swiping on her but we ended up matching and I shot her a quick text. She seemed way more into me than I was into her in the texts. To the point where she called me out of the blue one Friday night and we spent 2 hours talking on the phone. This went on for 3 consecutive days where we spent hours talking about ourselves and our past. This is where I found out about her « red flags », she told me she has Bipolar disorder, anxiety, ADHD for which she is medicated, she also is an over thinker, loves people to a fault and was cheated on in the past. Although I know these are serious issues, I somehow started liking her more and more when we were talking on the phone erasing all doubts about going out with her I had before the first call.

We had planned a date for that upcoming Wednesday and she was all giddy and cheerful about it. I don’t remember when but at some point before the date or maybe the phone call Friday I had found out my mom has cancer and I let her know that I didn’t want to hurt her and I might not be emotionally available not that I usually am as I like to keep my emotions in check and I would understand if she didn’t want to go through with the date. She reassured me by saying that she understood if I didn’t want to go out right away and that she would wait for me to be ready and if she was still single by then we could go out and try again. I told her I was still interested in going out with her if she didn’t mind all that and she was open to it.

Then on Monday, I made a sarcastic comment about needing to ghost her for a day because I was too nervous from the excitement which she did not take well at all even after I told her it was just a joke. She called me later that night all nervous about the date and wanted to cancel, because she was anxious that it wouldn’t go well because we were not similar in that I’m more of a selectively reserved person and had only had 1 proper relationship in the past and some other things I can’t remember. I ended up calming her down and reassuring her and we decided to stick with the date but just go for a drive and talk instead of doing an activity. The excitement was there again. We went out on the Wednesday as planned and just sat in a parking lot next to the grocery store for a few hours just talking and getting to know each other and the conversation was flowing well. She seemed to really like me from the body language to the flirty conversations and flirty gestures (touching my arm, playing with my hair, caressing my face). We ended it with a long hug and she kissed me on the cheek to my surprise. We planned a date for the following Wednesday too to do the originally planned activity.

During the weekend though, we ended up just confessing that a week was too much to wait and that we would want to see each other again before that. She was very adamant about it even when I tried to gage her reaction on waiting it out. We planned on seeing each other on the Sunday and just go out to watch a movie but as she is a very talkative person I decided I would surprise her and take her out to a botanical garden where they have light shows and general art because she mentioned wanting to go to a museum. I went to pick her up on the Sunday and quickly exchanged greetings with her parents who wanted to vet me beforehand. I told her the surprise in the car and she was all excited but mentioned something about thinking I might cancel because I kept delaying my arrival due to actual traffic.During the date, she was already mentioning and planning future dates stating stuff like making me breakfast in bed, running a movie marathon, sleeping over and going out to her family’s cabin and being extra flirtatious during the date (holding hands, embracing me, playing with my hair, caressing my face, massaging my back and just putting her hands in my shirt because it was extra cold out). After the activity we sat in the car and talked for a bit and she started prying about my situation with my mom and I opened up to her a bit to which she mentioned understanding if I needed time and space and that she would still be here with me afterwards. Her actions and words during the date made me like her even more than I did before. We went out for hot chocolate later and she bought me lip baulm because I had mentionned going to the bathroom to hydrate my cracking lips. On the ride back towards her place I asked if she was still interested in just talking for a bit and she agree enthusiasticly but was worried I wouldn’t get much sleep before my hospital appointment the next morning. We talked for a half hour near her house and then I just couldn’t take the tension anymore and asked if I could kiss her. She agreed and we went for it but it was super awkward and uncoordinated ( she went in for a French kiss right away where as I was just going to build up to it slowly) there was an awkward pause and I nervously laughed because there was awkward tension in the air and her body language seemed a bit tense. We both acknowledged the bad kiss and I said we could try again in a few minutes, she asked me if I had ever French kissed a girl before because like I said I haven’t had many relationships in the past to which I told her I had but it was the first time the kiss was this awkward and I explained that normally I build up to French kissing.

She went in for a second kiss without her tongue out of the blue and it was genuinely much better and enjoyable for me. I don’t get tingles from kissing though. I mentionned that it was much better but her body language and herself said that she wanted to end the date there so I brought her home. She then texted me saying that she didn’t think it would work out and that she felt no chemistry or butterflies during the kiss and it was as if she was kissing a friend and that I must have felt that too. To which I acknowledged but said that it wasn’t a big deal to me and we could work on it. Thinking she was just overthinking and stressing about it I told her that I understood if she wanted to end things there but that I still want to give it another go if that’s what she wanted but that I would not be begging her or chasing after her. She then said that she was very sorry and desperately wanted it to work out between us but that she still wanted to end it. She also said she knew I could find someone better suited to me quickly and that I was a catch for any girl.

But here is where my question comes, did she really mean any of that? Was it really that big of a deal out of nowhere, because the connection and chemistry leading up to that point was there. Is any of it fixable? Can any of it be related to her issues to the point she didn’t mean it? How could someone just flip a switch like that and go from lovey dovey to cold from just a bad kiss. I genuinely cried for the first time in a long time and this whole thing was the last drop in my bucket that made me overflow. So I’ve been thinking about the whole thing for a couple days and just want honest opinions and advice because I actually feel attached to a girl for the first time in a while even though I’ve been on different dates that didn’t pan out and this was just the second date with her but would still like to work things out. I have since calmed down tho and I’m debating just letting her go but I just can’t seem to get these questions out of my head.

Tl;dr Got love bombed (I think??) by a girl with a couple of issues including bipolar disorder. Everything was going amazingly until the end of the 2nd date where the relationship ended abruptly of off an awkward kiss which has left me puzzled and quite confused. Not sure what the hell happened to be honest and need advice going forward.