My boyfriend(29M) lives in New York(he’s pursuing an MBA there) and I(30F) stay in San Francisco. We’ve been together for 4 years. We really wanted to celebrate Diwali(Indian festival) together, so I told him that either I can come to NYC or he can come to SFO so that we’re together. I am travelling for work next week, so we figured that it will be more convenient for him to come to SFO vs me traveling to NYC. He came here a week back but kept saying that he’s having major FOMO for not being in NYC as all his friends were celebrating Diwali and Halloween through the week. I listened to him a few times but then I burst out on the final Diwali day(when he brought it up again), as I felt that he’s regretting being in SFO with me, and is not happy. He said that he is not unhappy about being with me but feeling FOMO about not being with his friends. Then, again today when he was about to fly back, I asked him if he could extend his stay by a few days. He was initially inclined but later said that he should go back, as he only have few weeks left before he graduates. But then he added that he feels that he betrayed his MBA friends by coming to SFO for Diwali as they were relying on him to celebrate together. I got mad when he said this as I felt it was quite unnecessary to bring this up again, especially since I gave him the option of me flying to NYC instead. And I told him that this makes me feel guilty for asking him to come here as well and makes me feel that he’s regretting coming here, and not appreciating our time together. He said that I’m overreacting, and making his grief about myself. He said I am not letting him feel his feelings and that it’s not about him regretting being with me but about him missing his friends.

Can you share your perspective on the situation?

TL;DR : My LDR boyfriend visited me for a holiday, and expressed FOMO about not being with his friends. This made me feel guilty and unappreciated. We're struggling to resolve this conflict and validate each other's feelings