We have a great relationship, going in three years, I'm closer to his family than I've ever been with mine, and for the most part, our relationship is awesome. The problem is that we're both introverts (him more so than me), and we end up in these "silent wars" that feel so weird and awkward and I don't know how to stop it from happening.

I'm not a morning person, so I'm a little more subdued when I wake up, and them he'll think he's done something wrong. He then plays the "I'll just stay out of her way if she's mad" move, and then the whole day just becomes us existing near each other believing we're each in the other's dog box for some reason, being courteous and short to not annoy each other further kind of thing.

When we connect in a shared interest, like playing a board game or him teaching me how to play Xbox, then it feels comfortable and normal--because there's something specific breaking the ice for us. He's been battling depression and anxiety, and I know how hard that is (I have the same diagnoses and also a degree in psychology). I don't know how to make our silences comfortable because it seems the more I tell him we're fine and I'm not mad, he believes it more so.

When we're around other people, they're all so much more talkative and out there, so we naturally come out of our shells, we just can't seem to spark that in each other. We both love each other deeply and are committed to this relationship, so it's not like we're teetering on a break up, he's just quite insecure and I unfortunately have maladaptive responses from childhood trauma that I kind of just.... don't speak unless spoken to, which obviously isn't great in this scenario.