I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years. At the beginning of the relationship he was still in love with his ex (they broke up because she cheated). I forgave him various times when he lied at the beginning but eventually started being seriously in love with me so that’s when our real relationship began.

I’ve always done something for him, the first years I wasn’t working because I was in college so I didn’t spend very much on gifts but would rather do small gifts or make him his fav dishes or cakes. When I met him he was working and his salary is good, not below average.

He has never gifted me anything spontaneously, two gifts in 5 years and felt forced to do so. Never went on a date night (only 2-3 times for birthdays). Not even cooking my favourite dish. In fact he has never cooked for me, and he is not a terrible cook.

When I mention this to him, he says that I am very materialistic (which in fact is false, I am one of the least materialistic people he knows). And this hurts me, because he says that he will change but I can’t see this change. And this non commitment is hurting me. I am not expecting a villa with the pool, but at least coming to hour home with a box of chocolates and saying “hey babe I was thinking about you so I brought you your fav chocolate”. Sadly it never happened and I doubt it will.

So all of this affected our love and sex life. I slowly began realising that I am not so cuddly like I was before, and also my sex drive has declined. When we have sex I don’t feel I like it anymore, I just don’t feel him like before. It’s like I am disconnected in that moment. I haven’t said this to him but I feel like our relationship is ending. I just don’t feel like we are a couple but we seem like friends. Maybe it’s just a difficult phase in our relationship considering that we are together for 5 years, but I don’t know.

Please don’t tell me that I should tell him about this feeling. I would need an advice here before. Thank you for your consideration if you’ve read all of this. I appreciate it.