TL;DR: if you don’t wanna read this I don’t want your advice :)

My wife of three years and mother of my two kids is constantly just in a dumpy mood. She had a roughish childhood separated parents, druggy mom, abusive stepmom but I say ish because it wasn’t quite as bad as things I’ve seen in my line of work. She also has some trauma from her early years in the military. But she constantly says that’s not what she’s upset about. It seems like everything I do anymore makes her angry at me or more upset. She constantly is short tempered with our son and daughter who are two and >1. Every day I come home to her just sad and saying everything is too much but she can’t elaborate how or why, she constantly insinuates that suicide is on her mind. And at this point I feel I’ve done all I can. She’s tried medication she’s tried therapy she tries hobbying. All with my support and encouragement. I know It may sound like I’m venting here and don’t care but I genuinely do everything I can for her IRL. I talk to her for hours and try to let her let out the sadness that way, I let her know she’s loved by many and needed by her family and I do a ton of housework even though I am working 12 hours a day and she is currently staying at home. She just is chronically depressed and it feels like I can’t do this anymore. I feel like an asshole because I’ve legit considered leaving because I’m scared she may hang herself or some shit while I’m at work and our kids are at the house. I just don’t know what is wrong with her. (depression obviously ykwim) I feel like her being so depressed and seemingly not even really wanting to be better is driving a wedge between us. I can’t live my life for much longer with her sucking every ounce of joy out of me. That may sound bad to some but you have to understand this is EVERY. DAY. I work pretty hard and I come home to a wrecked house, her laying on the couch saying she “can’t handle it” when she hasn’t done shit but mope and be sad. Her depression has caused me to feel more like a babysitter to her emotional state rather than a life partner to her. I’ve asked if she wants to go back to work, Ive asked, offered, told her everything I can think of to try and help her and she’s going to therapy on top of all that and just nothing. At this point there’s been so much effort by multiple parties to try and help her mental state I just feel like she does it on purpose to be babied. Again maybe I’m an ass for that but GD!! She’s a grown woman with children a decent house, a new car, constantly gets new shit bought for her, not working, not housekeeping. I don’t get it. She has the best life but chooses to squander it away moping around all day every day and all night every night. I hate this and don’t think I can stand it anymore. Please if you have any words of encouragement or advice on what I can/should do please share.