so my partner and i have been together for a year and 6 months. when we first got together in hindsight he love bombed me and i rushed into the relationship. i moved in with him probably 4 months after dating and have since just become his maid, cleaning his house, washing, dishes etc. he cooks bc he doesn't like my cooking. i pay for groceries and he pays for rent. often times i would pay his car rego or other things that he needed help with (rent, power, water etc). i don't work as im on disability and cannot work due to my disability. i'm often in so much pain and exhausted, he doesn't offer to help or support me.

he's got quite a temper not necessarily at me but blows up over small things the first time i saw him blow up was over a meal he made for me that didn't turn out the way he wanted so he threw it and it went everywhere, i was left to clean it up. he embarrasses me in front of his family, saying that i can't cook or that i should be using my disability to pay for his other family member to care for me. (i have my own carers that i pay because they're qualified to do so).

the issue is where i cannot communicate with him. anything that has come up in the relationship where in other previous ones i would have discussed and expressed feelings / boundaries - i never have with him. meaning i have a lot of built up resentment and he thinks our relationship is perfect. i think the biggest thing that stops me is being ridiculed or him loosing his cool and becoming defensive.

he's recently started to drink more and in turn the behaviours are more frequent. he was bad mouthing me to my own family weekend just gone and my mum pulled me aside and was like what the actual fuck? i just said that's how he is and i don't know how to change it. she suggested i move back in with her for a little while as she doesn't feel like i'm safe. i feel safe but i also feel so disconnected from the relationship. upon thinking all the big questions i really don't know wether i want to bring kids into this world with a man like him that can't control his anger and myself who obviously cannot communicate with him. so i think ive decided to break up with him. or at least have a break to see how i actually feel without being around him. my question is how do i actually go about this, because he's going to of course ask why. and it's my fault for not communicating or having any boundaries in the first place. im worried he's going to blow up if i say the wrong things or just talk me out of having a break.

how do i communicate to him this is what's happening, why (without being finger pointing) and remain amicable. do people like that ever change?

sorry for the illiterate word dump paragraphs. i have to do post this fairly quickly and on a throw away account because he goes through my phone / every notification he asks who is that.