It’s been a minute since I made this post, and I figured I’d do an official update since things have changed significantly over the past 8 months. For starters, I’m sure people will be glad to hear that me and my ex broke up in June. And now I can finally see how absolutely ridiculous and gaslit I was that whole relationship.

So, how did the visit go? Awful! He manipulated me into allowing an open relationship, made it all about how it’s because I’m infertile and not because he wanted to sleep around (but it was 100% about sex!). All of the bullshit he put me through took a massive toll on my mental health, I stopped wanting to function, stopped taking my medication and ultimately wound up dropping out of college and losing my scholarship.

Was he cheating on me? Yes! Unsurprising, i know. But he wasn’t cheating on me with that girl! I believe him about that because he admitted to cheating on me with several other people, his reason for not sleeping with her specifically was also really gross and misogynistic imo! (But honestly? I have no clue if I actually believe a word he says anyways, but regardless it really isn’t my problem anymore). And yes, I stayed with him after he confessed because I had absolutely no self respect at that point in my life.

Did I get my money back? Most of it! But mainly because I threatened to take him to small claims, by that point he owed me just under $3500. He still owes me $600 but I paid off the loan from my own money so there’s no pressure for him to pay me back.

How am I doing now? Better! I really did plan on staying single after him and I broke up, but I met my amazing current boyfriend right as shit was hitting the fan and we just clicked. Healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in. I didn’t know love could feel like this, he’s the first guy who’s ever treated me well. I thought I’d have a lot more issues lingering from getting out of a cheating relationship but he’s been so patient and helpful with me that I’m doing really good with things, I have moments of insecurity still but he’s been very accommodating and gentle with me. I did lose my scholarship and am working full time now instead of going to school, but I do plan on going back one day, but I won’t be finishing my degree, I’m going to go for a certificate in an unrelated career path.

I spent the summer having the time of my life, I went to music festivals and got closer with my friends. I’m doing a lot better health wise as well, I couldn’t get into therapy but I’m having monthly appointments with my social worker and working with my doctor to manage my medication better.

My ex is not doing good. He never did wind up going back to work, and started selling drugs a couple weeks before we split up officially, he’s no longer sober and instead of meth now he smokes crack! He’s had 2 relationships since we split up and his mother recently reached out to me and told me they were both very unhealthy relationships. The first girl especially, like got his name tattooed on her neck after 2 months and demanded he marry her type-crazy. which makes me petty-glad because he actually had been cheating on me with her at one point during our relationship. He and I call once a month to give life updates, also his mom recently reached out to me (she really misses me which is ironic because she didn’t really like me when he and I were dating)

Ultimately I’ve realized since he and I broke up is that he’s kind of a loser. He’s not going anywhere in life, living with his mother, no job, no car, drug addicted and a serial cheater. I don’t need that sort of mess in my life, I’m an adult and I need someone who can act like an adult. I was young when I got together with him, and I’m still young but I’ve already significantly passed him maturity wise. As much as I expected to hate him for everything he did, I don’t. I kind of just feel bad for him if I’m being honest, he seems like he’s just stuck in a really immature and selfish headspace that’s only exacerbated by his addiction issues. I hope he gets better one day but considering who he is as a person off the drugs, I honestly don’t know. I’ve gotten a chance to really grow as a person this past year.