My partner and I broke up about a month ago. We currently live together and are planning on moving back down to our home state next month. We originally moved to explore what life was like in other states. There were some other mitigating factors like toxic family and friend groups that we wanted to distance ourselves from.

We have been living together for about a year now, together for 3. Earlier this year, she experienced a loss in her family that took a heavy toll on her mental wellbeing. I tried to support her as best as I could but I still feel like I failed her since we’re here now. Our relationship wasn’t always sunshine and rainbows, we had a lot of issues brought on by moving to Seattle - it was hard on both of us and unfortunately resentment began to build.

My main issue is learning how to deal with still being in love with her while we are living together. We still sleep in the same bed, talk and lounge around together, do activities outdoors, and go out. It feels like we’re a couple but we’re not. Recently she flew back down to our home state and I had some alone time to reflect and I have not been doing well, at all. I realized that I’m still madly in love with her, and I still want a future with her.

I’ve spoken with my therapist and her suggestion was to write down everything I would want to say to my ex for closure, the problem is doing that has left me emotionally devastated. I’ve written four heartfelt letters and I can’t reveal any of this to my ex, she’s still trying to grieve and is emotionally drained from our breakup. Couple that with financial problems from having to move back down after furnishing our home and breaking our lease and I’m 100% sure she is just as stressed out as I am. The worst thing is, I’m seeing her today when I fly down for a wedding we are both supposed to be at.

I just want her back, I want us back - but, I know that neither of us has the bandwidth for that right now. Is there any advice that could help me deal with this situation?

tl;dr: Living with my ex, still in love with her. Struggling with what to do and how to overcome this.