My relationship is in a very bad moment. My boyfriend and I have been in an open relationship for two years and then closed it the next two years. Many problems arose in the first two years that made me stop trusting him. The process was hard because he didn't know how to help me heal the wounds. Although it is my personal work and it was my decision to continue with the relationship, I must admit that his way of being did not help me much to feel better. I feel bad for saying this, since he does think he gave 100% to make me feel better.

After this, my boyfriend went to a meditation retreat and came back proposing that he be alone for a few months. We have been dating for 4 and a half years. He says he needs to be alone because since he was 15 he has never been single for more than a month (he is now 25). He has been in too many relationships for many years, enduring processes, and really he has only been in love with me. But for him it is still a process in which he does not have the mental conditions to continue. I should mention that he is psychologically unwell and needs help to get better.

For him, it is incompatible to be in a relationship in order to improve and learn to be alone. The thing is that at first he said it would be a matter of months and a break. But then, seeing how needy I am from him, he thinks it is much more positive to end the relationship directly. If life wants, it will put us together again. He says that this way I will go through the fear of losing him and we will become stronger, meaning that we can have a better relationship when we feel better. Or not, or feel that we should not continue together having clearer ideas.

I'm all for having a break, in fact I always felt it was the right thing to do and that it would work. What I don't see so clearly is breaking up, because I think it includes a process that makes no sense for us to go through if deep down we both want to be together. We still don't know what to decide, we want the best but we don't know what is the best. We want to spend our entire lives together, but we have to first check what is happening in our heads. Is it good to break up?