Hey all!

Mine (27F) boyfriend (24M) and I are going through some crisis for the while now. We met online, and since July we’re together. We never met irl, cuz there were always been some problems whenever we were going for it. I really love him and I deeply care for him - please trust me on that. I really want to make this relationship work, but lately I feel so lonely. I think he loves me, but maybe he is not happy with me? We turn to arguments so easily, I do not like when he is sarcastic or makes me mad/jealous on purpose, he on the other hand might feel I’m too clingy, too dramatic and too emotional. It is true that I easily cry or get anxious. I try to work on it, I work on myself for several years now on and off with professional help, but definitely with a strong internal desire to heal after very traumatic childhood and teenage years. I look for the ways I could meaningfully connect with him. I want to learn how I can make him feel secure with me, as I feel he keeps me on a distance as he is anxious of growing too attached with me. On the other hand this makes me feel very insecure in this relationship and lonely as more and more often I avoid sharing my feelings - that’s why I look for the ways that could help us work on our dynamics. I do not want to fight, I do not want any of us to feel insecure or uncomfortable in this relationship - I deeply care for us, and I do not consider to split up. Could you please help me with advice how I can suggest and work on us so we grow closer not apart?

For any kind soul who stopped and read this stream of feelings coming from my heart - a warm thank you to you and I wish you well.

Thank you in advance for any suggestion/help! 🌸

Edit: because it might be important - we live in two different cities, but in the same country in Europe