As you have almost certainly surmised from the title of the post, I (27M) have been debating breaking up with my fiance (28M). For context we have been dating for about 7 years, engaged for 2 (I'll circle back to that). For the vast majority of our relationship we have never had any sort of issues. We barely fought, we went on semi-regular dates, we had a decent bedroom life, the whole shebang.

The only thing that would be considered "abnormal" I suppose would have been that we were in an open relationship for the majority of our time together. He suggested it since I was raised as a sheltered Mormon kid and he was my first for almost everything relationshipwise. We never had issues with this until relatively recently since I honestly don't care what he does so long as he's being safe and still putting in effort in the relationship and I always did my best to respect his boundaries.

The issues began to arise earlier this year. This year has honestly been one of the most challenging times of my life and most of the issues stem from our relationship. We bought a condo together a couple years back and while we have the savings and means to afford it (especially since we've always had a roomate) we still continue to struggle financially. I have admittedly been somewhat lenient on him financially since he does make slightly less than me but time and time again I find myself having to pick up the slack due to his poor financial responsibility. I put the entire down payment on the condo, I helped him put a down payment towards his car, I've bought all the new appliances we own, almost all of the furniture except for his desk I bought, any renovations we have to do comes from my account, etc.

This has really begun to take a toll on me. We've talked about this and fought about this and he has attempted to look at other jobs but inevitably always gives up after applying to only a handful and denying every application that comes back. I feel taken advantage of. As though I'm just a piggy bank to him. He also continues to try to finish up his schooling but hasn't manage to pass a single class required for his major. He has taken the same programming class 3 times now and if he can't pass it this time (which he is currently several chapters behind already) he won't be able to take it again unless he gets permission from the Dean.

Also as of this year our bedroom life has also taken a hit. Without going into too much detail I am by far the kinkier of the two and while I enjoy vanilla stuff too I like to regularly switch things up. He's aware of this but never takes any initiative. Unless i specifically tell him to do something he will never take charge or do really anything other than the most basic stuff in positions he knows I dislike. Getting him to do even some of the most mild stuff is like pulling teeth sometimes. Just last night I spent an hour prepping for him and he couldn't even be bothered to move the cat off his lap to do anything with me at all! When our issues started we both agreed to close the relationship (at my request) to work on us and now I'm starting to just feel smothered by him, and not in a good way.

I have tried talking to him. I've cried with him. I put ultimatums. Nothing seems to work. He will always only listen for a short time and then just go back to what he always does. I'm just so tired and fed up, and feel so unappreciated. We've been engaged for almost 2 years now and we have yet to do literally any wedding planning at all. I toured one location with him and since then it's been crickets from him despite me mentioning it periodically.

I want out but I don't even know where to start. Most of our friends are friends with both of us, and without the little bit of extra income he provides I don't think I can afford all the bills by myself. I feel trapped and have no one else to fall back on. Sorry if this kinda feels more like a rant but genuinely where do I even begin? I would sell the condo but I don't even know of that's possible since we are both cosigners on the mortgage. Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated.