My gf (27F) and I (28M) have been in a relationship for the past 9 months. Everything has been amazing so far and we haven't had any issues yet.

The only thing that ever gave me pause was when she revealed she had a drunk hookup with a stranger between our 2nd and 3rd dates. She told me this on our 7th date when we discusssed exclusivity (we had sex on the 8th date). She said she was open to any questions I had. All I asked was if there were any feelings involved or if it was ongoing, and both were a no. I appreciated her honesty, as there was no way I'd find out about this had she not told me. And it obviously wasn't cheating. So I moved on without much thought.

We've been going strong ever since until last week when we had a bit too much to drink. We were talking about a friend who was dating two girls at once and not exclusive with either, and if the girl he chose would be mad when she found out.

This led to us talking about my gf's hookup a bit more. I asked some questions I realized I wasn't ready to have answered. But I was drunk and wasn't thinking.

She told me about how the hookup happened, and how she was the one who approached the guy at the bar. She told her friends how hot he was, and within around 20 minutes they went back to her place. It was pure physical attraction. She said she wasn't drunk just tipsy, but that she was definitely in control of her actions. Point is it definitely wasn't a "mistake" but something she thought through and couldnt resist, even though she had a third date scheduled with me.

She also gave physical details about the guy which of course didnt make me feel great. He was a college basketball player, like a foot taller than me, jacked, and a lot of other details I didn't even ask about.

I've also seen most of her exes, either in pictures or in person. All of them are that same type (taller and muscular), and that type just isn't me. It made me think about our first couple of dates. I realized she probably had little physical attraction to me, but immediately felt something for this other guy who's more her type.

My gf and I are very communicative so I addressed these thoughts with her. I asked her why she felt the need to pursue a guy sexually when we could've had sex in another date or two. She admitted she thought I was cute and nice in the beginning but grew to find me hot and sexually attractive over time. That's one of the reasons we waited a while before getting physical. And also because she knew it would be more intimate with me, where as it was just casual sex with the other guy.

Part of me is worried she's settling physically, as around this age is when people in our culture (South Asian) get a lot of pressure to settle down. She even says this is the first relationship her parents approve of, mostly because all the other guys were of different races.

I don't want to be the backup or safe option she's not truly attracted to. I know physical attraction isn't everything in a relationship - our connection is so much more than that. I on know there will always be more attractive people out there. But I wish she found me attractive enough early on to not pursue sex with other guys.

I definitely felt better after talking to her. And our relationship is very strong, both the physical and emotional sides of it. I'm not thinking about leaving her over this, I just dont want her to settle for me physically as I think that would cause resentment in the long term. She deserves someone who cares for her like I do, but also who she finds physically attractive early. That's how I always felt about her, I just wish it was reciprocated early.

So this is my long winded way of asking - Does her behavior seem like she's settling? Or can physical attraction, even with someone who is not your "type", really grow over time?