She ran off, it hurt. When she came back, I didn't take her back because it hurt so bad the first time. (hardest thing i ever did) Turns out, being emotionally unavailable and heartbroken is the best thing a man can do to get laid. I have never had such a strong burning desire for anyone else in my life. Countless girls later, some who really deserved all of me, she is still the only person I think about. Every waking hour, nonstop, I can't get her out of my head. It's been three years, I don't even know this girl anymore. I know i'm in love with the idea of her in my mind and not her, but okay. So now what? What the fuck do I do? I called her three weeks ago after three years of essentially no-contact for some more closure, thinking it would help. I told her how I can't fully give myself to someone else because I haven't healed. We had a great ten minute conversation and I feel like my forgiveness for her has grown. We're not talking now because unless we both want to go at it again, there's nothing to talk about. We are both the same age. (28 now) I've forgiven her but now I truly want to forget her. I've wasted and still waste so much false energy on her everyday. Maybe I should try therapy? maybe pills? I feel like i've tried everything. I just want to be free. I want Peace.