Hey y'all. Me and her, M, have been through a lot of arguments before, but this is the first one where we've stayed upset at each other for more than a day. Some background info first. I am a first time manager at a regional CBD store. I've only been manager for about 5 months now. I have 2 employees. The one in question I'll call A. A asked me and my other employee, S, what our girlfriends would do if we told them to make us a sandwich. I told him if I asked nicely she would probably do it, but if I told her she'd probably kick my ass. We all had a good laugh and moved on, but before I left her told me to tell her to make me a sandwich.

Now, I would never nor have I ever done something like that as regardless of how that sounds to a woman it just isn't a polite thing to do. So, as I always do when A says something that's absolutely ridiculous, I told M about it. I didn't tell her to make me sandwich I said, "Oh, btw A told me to to tell you to make me and sandwich." She got very upset at that, but not at me it was at him. Later that day she made some rice Krispy treats for us and told me that the next day I went to work she was gonna give me some extra one for my boss and S. She also wanted me to make sure A knew that he wasn't getting any because she was mad at him.

The next day at work I give my boss and S their treats and they ate it before A came in. He didn't know they got it and I saw it as fine keeping it that way. The reason I didn't want to say anything about that is because I feel that as a manager it would be a bad precedent to set for me to be getting "back" at him for saying that. When I got in the car from work the first thing M asked me was if I made sure that A new he didn't get one. I told her I didn't. This is where the argument started between us.

She things that I'm not defending her and I don't feel comfortable doing petty stuff to my employees like that. I also told her on the way home that she was causing problems for me as a manager by expecting me to "get back" at my employees. I also told her that she should care what this other guy says because at the end of the day I don't care what he says and I'm not gonna treat her any differently because he says something like that. She doesn't interact with guy at all aside from maybe a wave when she picks me up from work some days.

So AITAH here? I understand that my employee is quite misogynistic for saying that and a lot of other things he says, but I don't see it as my responsibility to fix that. Nor do I see a need to allow that conflict to interrupt the operation of my store.

Edit: I realize that I need to be a little more strict with what is allowed to be said in more store. I talked to M about this and how I was going to not be allowing that kind of speech and she is still upset at me because "she had to stick up for herself."