So, my (28M) last partner (26F) has had a pretty difficult life marked by all kinds of abusive relationships, especially his parents (monsters) and every single one of her partners (mostly abusive ones, some other *only* tremendously neglectful). She is also really committed to her self-improvement and, after realizing she was only going for assholes, made a point in finding herself a healthy guy to have a healthy relationship with. In her words "I knew what questions to ask and what flags to look out for".

Aaaand that's how she met me and we enjoyed a short-lived (2 months) but, al least for me, wonderful relationship. But sadly, it was not so wonderful for her as being treated with care, love and respect was, in her own words: scary. She would hide it from me, but the relationship triggered a traumatic response in her brain which made her feel incredibly anxious and guilty about it, she told me she would constantly feel she wasn't doing enough to deserve what I gave to her, that she wasn't good enough for me, that she was accumulating a debt towards me, she couldn't sleep during the night because of the guilt. When she came clean about this to her therapist, she explained that those feelings were not going away without work and time and she decided to break-up as she "couldn't live with this much anxiety and guilt".

Right now she's still working on it in both talking therapy and also EMDR therapy, and has lately been dropping hints that she might be willing to give ourselves a second chance. Which is why I'm here: IF that happens I want to be prepared and pull out all stops to make sure a second relationship is a safe, nurturing place for her, so I've been thinking about doing couples dynamics once a week or twice a week so we have a place to discuss feelings and work on her fearful-avoidant tendencies to make sure she's feeling comfortable or work towards it. I've come up with some ideas but would appreciate if people could comment on them or suggest some new ones. My plan is to present her with the ideas so we choose one or two to try out. So far I've come up with:

1. Just talking - Asking her how she's feeling this week and discuss it.
2. Inspired by EMDR, maybe allow her to trauma dump regarding the feelings of guilt and anxiety while she plays on her Switch or whatever stimulating thing she chooses to do
3. Write down for her things she's done for me in a notebook and explain to her how her actions have made a positive impact on me
4. Make her come up with things she believes has done for me that have had a positive impact in my life

What do you think? Any other ideas?

tl;dr: Former partner with fearful-avoidant attachment and trauma regarding past abusive relationships wants to give it another chance, looking for ideas to make the relationship work and dynamics to try together.