My words are getting misinterpreted and twisted around on me more and more lately, and I need for this to change. It has gotten to the point where the only time we've had together in over a week now has been spent fighting and upset with one another (and ourselves), because we can't seem to speak the same language.

My intentions have been to ask for what I need and cultivate more connection and closeness, for example, this morning we had sex, and I tried to ask him to come back to bed for 5 minutes afterwards to snuggle with me so I could enjoy what I call the 'afterglow'. He interpreted this ask as an accusation and a blame statement, as though I had said "you're never making time for me" or "you don't show me enough affection". He genuinely believes that I've said those things, when I actually think he's saying those things to himself and then attributing them to me.

It seems to me that this is an issue of low self-efficacy and low self-esteem on his end, and a tendency to default into victim mentality.

So, my question is, what can I do, that's actually within my control, to reduce the chance of misunderstandings? Alternatively, how can I respond mindfully to him when he believes that I'm chastising and criticizing him, and that isn't my true intention?

Just a note: he is extremely sensitive to being interrupted and to being told that I didn't say the things he thinks he heard