I don’t know what to do in this situation at all. I met my fiancé when he was here in the U.S. on a student visa and we have been together for 2 years going on 3 in March. He had to go back to his country of South Korea due to getting a new visa but sadly that visa got denied. Our immigration lawyer suggested we apply for a K1 fiancé visa since we’re engaged and we did. He had his interview and it seems to have went well but it turns out the embassy sent our case back to another place for deeper review. We have no idea of what that means but our lawyer thinks it’s not a big deal and it’s common to happen. But the more we research it might mean it’s denied. At this point we’re just praying it will all work out for us with this visa.

Our lawyer suggested if it doesn’t work that we apply for the marriage visa. I don’t want to do that because it’s more time apart. You get married to your significant other and then you come back alone without them and then wait 1-2 years for the case to be approved. I have done so much waiting since last June I have nothing left in me. I’m considering just moving there. But to my mom it’s a horrible decision that will hurt her and my dad. She would say things like I’ll only see her a few more times before she reaches the age of passing away and she’ll never see her grandkids. Then she would mention how I have medical problems and that I can’t get the proper help in Korea that I can here in the U.S.. I used to have back problems and I have other medical problems that are now resolved and I’m taking good care of myself. I’m sure there’s many people who have disabilities that still move to another country. She would also say how my future in laws would be a disaster towards me. Which is kinda of true they are weird people but I don’t see that being an issue.

She always tells me my life would be miserable there and that I should just apply for the marriage visa. But it hurts me so much the state I’m in being apart from him and doing the long distance. I can’t imagine doing this any longer and coming back without your husband after getting married just seems so painful. It feels like I have to stick it out in the U.S. for her even if it’s the thing that causes me the most pain. Maybe I will be miserable in South Korea but it’s the type of thing you don’t know if you don’t try. I have thought about my life there and what I would want to do for a job. My fiancé also has a secured job there and his life is already in a good place there. It’s not like I’ll be walking into a concerning environment.

I can’t figure out what’s bear for me. Because either I get married come back alone and that will hurt me or move there and it hurts everyone else. I’m really not in a good mental place and I don’t want to go into deep detail over that but the mental state I’m in right now is whatever comes after hitting rock bottom.