I have been in a relationship with my bf for just over a year. We have talked about moving in together in the near future to see how our lifestyles can blend, and we have also talked about marriage and one day having children. Before moving ahead with living together full-time, we had discussed me bringing items over so I could stay a few nights here and there.

While he was at work this morning, I decided to put the clothes I had brought over in the closet finally (I had a bag that had been lying around for at least a month). As I was putting my clothes away I felt compelled to open the suitcase he has in the closet. When I opened it, I found belongings of another woman in there as well as a bag of mine that I thought I had lost. I found this woman’s Squishmallow plushie (I remembered last year that my bf said he hated squishmallows). There was also a bag with her dirty clothes, her skincare stuff, and some toiletry items. I had checked the front pocket of the suitcase and I found several photos of the two of them (two of the photos had been framed) and one had a timestamp from early August just a few weeks before our anniversary.

I laid everything out on the coffee table so he’d see it when he got home from work, and I took my belongings for safekeeping and left.

This has been heartbreaking because he told me that he had been cheated on by his ex-wife a few years ago. I have since calmed down and reached out to him. Part of me would like to discuss this with him because I do genuinely love him.

If I decide to have a conversation with him about this, what advice would you give to make sure the conversation remains productive? I want us to both be adults and figure out what happens moving forward.

TL;DR—found out my bf is cheating on me and would like advice on how to have a productive and healthy conversation with him.