First of all, I am sure my irritation stems from ignorance.

I am living in with my boyfriend and he has bad allergic rhinitis (AR). I always clean our place spotless, but that doesn't seem to help alleviate his symptoms.

What grinds my gears is the fact that he doesn't seem to be helping himself as well. He sneezes violently a lot and only takes meds when his symptoms are already so terrible, he can't breathe through his nose. He also doesn't want to see a doctor because he is either busy with work or, according to him, his AR is part of who he is and I have to deal with it.

As we spend more time together, I also noticed that his AR symptoms are getting worse. But he continues to self-medicate and handle his AR on his own.

I'm not a doctor and I believe I only scratched the surface with whatever I found online regarding AR. Most recommend a surgery, but for whatever reason, he doesn't want to get one.

I have my own auto-immune disease, and I know what's it like to permanently live with an illness. But it's not as disruptive as his. I don't have the heart (yet) to tell him that the decline of his quality of life is also affecting mine because we live together. For instance, he used to be able to help me out around the house. But now I have to do most if not everything on my own because he's always in bed when he's at home. We also have to keep our home humid all the time to help his symptoms, and that gives me a bad headache. I have to keep the house dust free all the time, otherwise, I will spend the entire night listening to him violently blow his nose. Finally, I have to take care of him. I know I should be willing to do that for him because I am his partner. But I just have so much weight to carry in this household and I'm getting tired. He also constantly complains to me how bad his AR symptoms are at work. Of course, I can't do anything about it, so I am stuck listening to a guy who complains about something resolvable, only if he is willing to help himself.

To be completely honest, I have lost any form of sympathy or empathy towards what he's going through. I am just so annoyed by the fact that he refuses professional medical help even though that's completely covered by his HMO.

I feel helpless right now and I would appreciate any advice I could get here.