I feel like this will be more of a rant than anything else, but here I go.

I’m a 24 years old woman, unstable relationship, unstable mental health, half of a career, no friends and unstable mental health.

My relationship has been going poorly because it feels like I put more efforts into it and communication is useless, as my partner refuses to meet me halfway. I’m a burden for this person and I feel the end approaching.

My work isn’t going too well, because my relationship affects the quality of my work and the help I can give to my co-workers, which makes me feel like a burden to them as well.

My mental health is poor, because I constantly feel like a burden. It’s hard for me to leave my relationship because I am deepy attached to the idea of this person and loosing them would mean the end of the world to me, so I am stuck in place. I am also left wondering how could anyone else support and love me. It feels like I am getting old, that my time to meet the one for me is ruining late.

I do not go out, because I do not own a car, yet, so I do not have friends or meet people. I play video games and write as hobbies, trying to dive into my own little worlds to escape mine. Relationship-wise, every aspects of my life sucks. I am stuck in this loop of being just utterly lonely and once I feel myself picking back up, it just circles back around, and I wonder what I am doing wrong. I see other people have friends, and going out, but I lack the understanding how to make some. I’m awkward, reserved and interacting with people scares me, as I feel like I will be judged or found weird.

I don’t know, I guess that everything is empty in my life, if that’s the word for it. I try so hard, but I never really see the end of the pain I feel inside or the loneliness I feel when I am not accompanied by my boyfriend. I guess I am seeking people, anyone, that went or goes through the same thing I am, just to feel like I am not as stupid as I feel like I am.