Long story short, me and this friend became "close" (as in hanging out a lot more) because they found I smoked weed, and so we'd regularly smoke together. I didn't consider myself getting "closer" to this person, but of course, under the influence, we'd have some deep conversations where they'd talk about some of their past to me. They called me their best friend at some point, but I hadn't considered them mine since I didn't reveal to them anything substantial during those conversations that would constitute our growing relationship as just that. If anything, I sometimes felt like a vessel for them to just rant to because they're kind of a chatterbox.

It's important to note that this person also was trying to room with me from last year (didn't end up working because of application errors with the leasing office) which I was initially happy about, but they later revealed that because their other best friend chose to live with someone else, so they chose me. In their words "You both (me and their other best friend) were neck and neck" and in my head, I concluded that obviously if their best friend chose them, or was more transparent about the process, I would not have been chosen. Since this, it solidified in my mind that I was clearly a second choice.

Fast forward to now, me and this person don't live together (which I kind of like) but we're in the same apartment complex so we hung out fairly often in the beginning weeks of school (we're both in college), but really just to smoke weed, which is a habit I'm not that into anymore. It kind of feels like if I express that then the foundation of our relationship will wither away; I don't even act like myself around them (I act more quieter/reserved) because I'm not super comfortable with them. LIke I said, when we'd have our "deep", high conversations it was them mostly confiding in me their deep, personal issues so I already felt bombarded since then to kind of assume the role as the listener. Sometimes when I try to speak up more, their personality is already so dominating that they try to cut me off and interpret what I'm saying instead of listening, so I now if I try to divulge in my problems it probably won't translate the same way in my head.

Whenever we'd go out together, it was clear that I was just their tag-along and not apart of their friend group, which isn't something that's a problem, it's understandable since it's their relationship, but it's annoying and socially taxing to be standing around as a plus one when they're the ones interacting with everyone. They constantly say how I'm their "tall friend" and how it feels nice to have a friend who's on their level (they're the tallest out of their core friend group) so oftentimes I feel like I'm brought along so the awkwardness is alleviated from them. Some other things I notice they do is say how they "feel bad for asking favors from their friends" but when it comes to me (who has a tough time setting boundaries and saying no) they ask favors as if we're sisters (ex. walking them to their best friend's apartment complex because it was dark out, following them to a weed shop to pick up a package with them, following them to cop from the weed man, or following them to a social event because they're interested in rushing this sorority). It just comes to a point where I'm questioning if these are things I should be bothered about normally, or if it's because I have in my head that I'm being used so I take every ask as them thinking of me as the convenient friend who doesn't say no. Their dialogue also bothers me because, even though it's already hard for me to say no, they leave little room for me to say I'm not interested in doing this or that (ex. "you HAVE to come with me" when asking for me to follow them to collect weed, or "please im scared" when asking me to walk them to their friend's apartment complex because it was dark outside, even though they could've asked their friend, who has a boyfriend, to walk halfway to meet them); it just seems like it's easier to inconvenience me than doing things by themselves or inconveniencing the person they're trying to meet. Some little things also bother me, which is the fact they're always repeating stories and information to me. As I said, they normally just vent while talking to me so every hang out feels like an unload of their subconscious onto me, which I find more annoying than overwhelming because it's either a story of something I didn't want to know or a repeated story where I'd feel like an asshole for reminding them they already told me.

TLDR: friend began hanging out with me more last year because they realized I smoked, began venting to me a lot (very one-sided) during that time, wanted to live with me because their best friend went with somebody else, now constantly asks me to follow them places (but is supposed to have this fear of asking favors from their other friends), I feel like I'm being used or just the convenient friend (bonus: how do i set boundaries in saying no to even their most basic requests?)

** I can go into way more depth about scenarios where I really felt like a tag-along when we did go out and the dynamic of our hangouts