TL;DR: High school girlfriend and I agreed to break up for college no matter what, but I feel like she was special and don’t want to give up on her only due to college. I’m visiting her college for an unrelated reason after ~1month of NC post breakup and wondering if there’s any point to contacting her (or choosing not to) if she doesn’t have any competing relationship prospects.

B (18F) and I (18M) started dating at the end of senior year of high school after being good friends for the previous two years. She chased me in the beginning - I said I didn’t want to set myself up for heartbreak by entering a relationship so close to college and most likely having to end things, but she begged and said it was a casual thing to have fun over the summer and I obliged.

The thing is, the things that made us such good friends previously also made us good lovers - we are very similar people and she understood some of the struggles I had had in high school better than any other girl. She was my second real relationship but the first one where I fell in love, but in the end I stuck to the original plan of ending things after my friends who started college in the summer encouraged me to, because they were having a ton of casual sex / fun at college and thought I would too.

So I initiated the start of the breakup, mentioning our relationship in the past tense over the phone, but it took her a few weeks to get adjusted and she told me she was having a hard time emotionally getting over things. In the first two weeks of me being at college (I started before her) we still talked daily and we agreed that we would be zip code dating in the future. I was happy to agree to this, because at that point I had realized that she was more of a special person to me than just a casual relationship. However, a week after she got to her college, she informed me that she was seeing a new guy and that still being in communication with me would get in the way of her future relationships. I was taken by surprise considering how just a week ago she was telling me how hard it was without me but I didn’t want to hold her back, so we went NC.

She genuinely loved me for who I am, was patient with me where most people would get annoyed or lash out, willing to compromise, hear me out, sex was great and we were on equal footing in terms of wanting to serve each other in the bedroom. At the end of the relationship we agreed that we wouldn’t have broken up if it weren’t for the fact that we are going to college in different states.

I’m Jewish and don’t want to date outside of my religion. The thing is, being at college for a month, and meeting the people I will be spending the majority of my time around for the next four years, I haven’t met anyone that I thought remotely has as good and true of a heart as B (or so I thought while we were dating). The Jewish girls at my school are all spoiled and bitchy. Nobody has the spark in their eye or their heart. I’m friendly with them but only really like spending time around the guys, and even then I haven’t found my true group of guys within the Jewish population yet. I’m caught between friend groups and afraid of how things will proceed if I don’t get into a fraternity or even if I do get the same fraternity as some guys I know, if I will truly fit in with them, let alone dealing with sorority girls. I’m spiraling somewhat which I’m sure is clouding my judgment.

I’m visiting her college in a few weeks to see my best friend since 2nd grade, who also goes to her school. He tipped me off that 1) her rebound looked exactly like me and that 2) she doesn’t seem to be pursuing that relationship anymore. If I’m absolutely sure that she is no longer seeing the new guy, how stupid would it be for me to ask to see her when I’m in town? Even if the answer is no, I feel like it would give me more closure than “maybe I’ll hit you up if we’re both single next time we’re at home”?