Just had a 10-hour shift and I come home to the place reeking of dog piss and being a general filthy mess. My boyfriend is not used to cleaning, and I just moved about a month ago. Prior to that, I was practically already living with him as we spent most of our time together. For context, we've been together almost a year. Slowly, l've been trying to teach him how to clean since he was never taught and had no chores growing up (neither did his sisters so it wasn't a sexist thing lol). He has ADHD and im just now seeing how severe it is now that im officially moved in. He just doesn't get how to stay tidy. He hired a cleaner to come every two weeks but that's not nearly enough for how disgusting it gets within the span of just a few days. While im at work (he works from home), he'll say he's going to finally clean (basically just tidy up after himself) and he really doesn't. It'll be the most basic job and im thinking, this is what you call cleaning?😭🙂‍↕️

i believe he's trying, but most of the time his ADHD gets in the way and he has no motivation to clean up after himself. My OCD kicks in as soon as I walk through the door; dishes still piled up in the sink, clothes somehow all over the floor. I walk into the bathroom and the grass mat the dog pees on (that my bf said he was going to wash) is sitting in the tub, unwashed and reeking of piss. I can’t even take a shower. There's stuff all over the bathroom counters. I walk into the room and my boyfriend is asleep in the bed next to a McDonald's bag overflowing with trash. He's a big smoker (weed) so he had his pen next to him too.

I just feel like l've had this conversation with him a thousand times and now he even gets mad at me. I've communicated how much it affects me mentally to come back home to a filthy place. He's like I already hired a cleaner for you, which I appreciate. But again, it gets so goddamn messy within a few days. I was so overwhelmed by the mess that I told him I was gunna stay at my mom's (pretty much everything is still in my old room since I only moved out a month ago). I walked out and am now sitting in my car wondering if this is the right move or not. I just want to feel at peace. I don't feel peace there with my bf, and I feel so misunderstood. He truly loves and cares about me, but it's infuriating how one of the only things I ask of him he can't do. I understand his ADHD plays a role in all of this, but I don't know what to do with that information

TLDR: After a 10-hour shift, I came home to a filthy house reeking of dog pee, despite my boyfriend, who has ADHD, promising to clean. He grew up without chores and struggles with tidiness, even though I've been trying to teach him. He hired a cleaner every two weeks, but the mess piles up too quickly. His ADHD makes it hard for him to follow through, and my OCD makes it overwhelming for me. We've had this conversation many times, but nothing changes. I'm now sitting in my car after deciding to stay at my mom's, unsure if I made the right move. I just want peace.