I’m new to Reddit and recently found some of my boyfriend’s comments on NSFW posts, hinting at sexual interest. It all started when I came across a screenshot on his phone of a couple having sex in the shower. I had just moved in with him and noticed he was always on his phone, often closing it as soon as I got near. Finding that screenshot led him to confess a lot of things he’d been hiding for years. We’ve been together for seven years, most of it long-distance. We’ve often engaged in phone sex or sex when we were visiting each other, and much more frequently lately. He admitted that he’s always been addicted to porn (which I already knew) and had turned to Reddit to distance himself from it. But instead, he ended up drawn to Reddit’s darker side, reading explicit confessions, talking to people about their sexual experiences, and discussing kinks.

He said this became a coping mechanism, especially if we had a fight or his day went. Although I was shocked and angry, I tried to understand his side, knowing he has a higher sex drive than I do. He explained that rather than approaching me every time he wanted something physical (especially if I was busy or not in the mood), he would turn to Reddit, using it as a form of porn.

I could somewhat understand that, and even tried encouraging and exploring some of our kinks together to make him happy and satisfied. But things took a turn when I recently found some of his comments from two weeks back (before I found out about this dark side) suggesting he wanted to engage with other women or encouraging them to DM him for more conversation. He admitted to even have given commands to men to do stuff with their partners and enjoyed it while the men sent nudes of their partners in the act. He insists he never sexted any woman or exchanged nudes with them, but admitted that commenting on these posts gave him a thrill. While we do love each other deeply, I’m deeply hurt and feel betrayed. I’m struggling to believe him and don’t know how to move forward. I don’t want to break up, but I also don’t know if I can fully trust him again. He says he’s trying to get better, but I’m afraid he won’t stop, especially if we have to go long-distance again.

Any advice would help. Especially from couples who have been through similar situations.

TLDR: Discovered my boyfriend's NSFW Reddit activity, where he engaged in sexually suggestive comments despite claiming he's never sexted anyone. He admits to using Reddit as a coping mechanism and an alternative to porn, especially during times of conflict or when I’m unavailable. While he promises to change, I’m struggling to trust him and unsure how to move forward without risking the same issues in the future.