Hello everyone I’m new to Reddit but desperately need opinions/advice on if I am thinking too hard or if everything is normal.

I 23M and my 24F fiancé have been engaged for nearly a year now and plan on getting married next December. We have been dating for 4 years now and from the beginning had strong sexual tension. Up until December of 2023 we had been sexually active with each other. In the beginning it was heavy and as the years went on maybe 1 time a month if that. Coming December on a car ride she blindsided me with the conversation that she did not want to have sex until marriage now because she felt guilty (religious reasons) and as well as that she felt bad afterwards. Keep in mind that previous to our relationship we both were with multiple other partners sexually while dating.

I find intimacy to be in my top 2 most important things in a relationship mainly due to the connection that it gives me with my partner. I do understand and we have talked about that many times and as well as how intimacy is more than just physical. In the beginning of our relationship she didn’t come off as a very religious person as I probably did not either but we both still had our beliefs. So when I say blindsided I mean truly blindsided by this conversation. There were 2 options that I was displayed with being we either stay together and can wait until marriage, or we split. She did state that once we were married that the feeling of guilty and feeling bad afterwards would go away since the Bible does state to wait. I told her that I couldn’t give up everything because that aspect is one of my most important things in a healthy relationship and she agreed and stated that other things would happen more often to replace.

2 months go by and it’s February now and I have freshly proposed and started the new chapter in my life with her. From there on I saw change but not necessarily in the best ways. One night we were casually talking and the topic of sex came up and she stated that even when we are married she couldn’t be 100% sure that things would change and that she might not want to have sex as much as I do (was hoping to aim for once a week to be considerate of her already not having a high sex drive) and I remember during the talk a few months back she swore it would be very different essentially sounding like she’d be all over me. I brushed it off and continued our night and now September we are about a year out of our planned wedding date and there has been little sexual activities in the relationship. One a month if I’m lucky. I do everything that she asks of me I pay for everything and cook dinner every night after getting off night shift. She’s a nurse so she works 3 nights a week and me 5 Monday - Friday and we have weekends off. Ive made it a point to take her on a date each Saturday and we have great quality time doing so. During the weeks I pack her lunches every day and doing daily and weekly chores that we split in our routines. Saying all that to say she has stated that she feeling more in the mood when things are done and she doesn’t have to worry about things and that it is attractive. If I do the things that everyone has to do as a person I don’t do them for that reason, but if she does tell me that those are ways to help our sex life I will try harder sometimes when it’s been a while. My question is that is it odd with my situation that randomly we have a sexless relationship after going years having it, or is that more common than I thought? Also am I being taken advantage of by doing everything she says that will boost her mood in the bedroom and in return nothing has changed?

Thank you all for reading this post I know it’s long but I am excited to see what people have to say.