Hello, all! First time poster here, looking for some feedback, preferably from a female’s perspective.

So, my wife and I have been together since we were 19. We have an awesome marriage, four kiddos, and are both successful professionally speaking. We get along great, communicate well, rarely have any issues, etc. Materially speaking, it’s all there. I supply us both with new rides, multiple properties, and financial freedom through my business. This allows her to teach, which is her passion.

All that said, I feel there’s always been a major deficiency as it relates to her approach to me. She was apparently pretty active in high school and had a fair amt of fun, while I on the other hand was not. This has always left me feeling as though I missed out. While I love my wife to death, I am an extremely sexual person, who to this day feels as though I short changed myself. I limited my interactions, leaving me longing for those experiences.

In addition to those feelings, her ability to show me any attention, affection, or initiative as it relates to intimacy is non existent. I take great care of myself, stay well manicured, I am fit, etc. She is quite the opposite. She is beautiful and doesn’t require makeup, or anything of that sort. However, that’s translated over the years to rarely dressing up, minimal effort, minimal upkeep (even as it relates to shaving, etc) - which is a turn off. I am mature enough to recognize she birthed four kiddos, and is tired from teaching… but this was the case before, during, and in the present. This leaves me feeling like we are truly two different people with two different desires and fulfillment when it comes to this topic. (I am also very much an outdoorsman, into sports, ALPHA - while she would rather read a book and sit on the couch all day)

I would never leave her, and want to spend the rest of my life with her… I just honestly feel I need some excitement and to explore sexual experiences outside of the same old missionary position… that I have to either push for or at times guilt her into as she never comes on to me. I don’t receive any oral (despite giving), there’s no spontaneity, there’s no lingerie, no surprises. None of it. And she knows damn well where I stand as I’ve communicated these needs and wants for years.

I am honestly in my prime (please don’t take that as arrogance), I am crushing it as a father and husband. I feed roughly 20 families on payroll. I help my friends, family, etc. I give and give and give. I simply want to be the focus for a change, be spoiled, and enjoy life just a step further as it relates to intimacy. I’m confident in saying that there are woman out there who would give anything to be in her place, yet she doesn’t see that and takes me for granted.

If I venture out, I will be viewed as a POS cheater. Yet, there’s just no change that’s occurred or that will occur as far as I can tell. I mean, what is one supposed to do?? Continue being unhappy and unfulfilled? Venture out and risk the marriage? She’s not going to change her naturals, we are just two different people as it relates to our needs.

I welcome your feedback!