My boyfriend (35M) and I (29F) have been together for almost a year, and honestly, it’s been the best relationship I’ve ever had. He’s incredibly sweet and caring, and I genuinely see a future with him, not only because of the good times but also through the tough ones, like when he’s gone above and beyond to care for me during health issues.

However, my family, who I’m very close to, strongly disapproves of him due to their toxic attitudes. They don’t like that he’s white, which is something that doesn’t bother me at all. We’ve lived in the U.S. for over a decade, and I’m committed to staying here, as it’s where my life and career are.

The main issue we’re facing is our differing views on having children. We didn’t have a serious discussion about it until about eight months into our relationship, even though I had been clear about wanting kids from the beginning, while he has always been unsure. I’m leaning towards having kids, but not immediately. I’d like to explore that option more seriously when I’m around 32-33, and I don’t want it taken off the table entirely.

My boyfriend is more uncertain, leaning towards a “no” on having kids. I know that if he decides he doesn’t want children, it would be a dealbreaker for me, and I’d have to reconsider the relationship. I brought this up with him seriously two months ago because, after telling my parents about us, I’ve faced a lot of toxic arguments trying to defend our relationship. I don’t want to further strain my relationship with my parents if we end up breaking up.

Three weeks ago, I asked him if he had made a decision, and he said he still needed more time. I trust that he’s thinking it over and will give me his answer eventually. Since he’s never had a serious relationship before me, he hasn’t really considered the topic of children due to his past dating struggles.

I don’t want to pressure him too much but will probably check in again if he hasn’t brought it up after another two weeks. I feel anxious because I really care for him, and everything between us feels right. We have a healthy relationship, we laugh a lot together, and I see a promising future with our careers and friends. I’d like to hear about others' experiences if they’ve faced similar issues with differing views on having children.

TL;DR: My (35M) boyfriend has never thought seriously about having kids until our relationship, and I’m anxious about his decision after discussing it seriously two months ago.