A little context: We got together 2 months ago. Although there have been some issues, we know mutual people as a result of it being a small world, so I have to approach this carefully. We didn’t know this upon meeting each other.

I’m a very honest person. I lie when I have to or otherwise it will make a situation difficult not to do so, but otherwise unless it’s my job, I’m honest. Upon him mentioning to me he “likes lying” (interesting way to put it. I think he means he likes how it can make things easier).I addressed it as honesty is very important to me. I don’t care if he lies about not seeing my texts or something insignificant, but in general especially if it’s something important, don’t lie. He understands.

The lies I’ve caught him in for context are: - Just prior to getting together, he told me he wasn’t seeing anyone else, after just asking me. I had sworn I saw him on Hinge, as that’s where we met. He denied it when I brought it up. Then weeks later he admitted it and I asked why he lied. He said he panicked (he has anxiety issues and panic attacks occasionally) and that it was between me and her, but he also knew it wouldn’t work with her because she was in another state. And he was lonely. - His mom and I get along, but we have very different views on a political issue. I asked if he told her, he said no. Later it came out he did. Although this isn’t particularly important, I asked why. He said it was easier. This I kind of understand because of how sensitive the issue is. - He told me he had only started dating at 26 because he wanted to focus on his studies. I strongly suspected this was a lie from the start, but I do understand why he would lie. This was a half lie, as although he made no effort to date, it was because he was more focused on video games and goofing off in life. So finally he got his life together (he did). Again, I get lying about this. It’s a situation that could be judged. - If he first has admitted something embarrassing, he’ll flip flop on it on the spot if it’s true. Again, fear of judgement.

He also has challenges with self-esteem and feeling he’s dumb (he’s not). So that may be why he’s quicker to lie. I let him get away with more than I otherwise would because we know mutual people who are nice, and therefore that’s a good thing. He has tried therapy (that hasn’t worked, same as me) and has the intention of going back for something that does work. He has made some effort, and admits he needs to be more on top of it.

He is still kind to me and we have a nice time hanging out. He’s supportive whenever I tell him of past shit I’ve been through. And I know he’d be there for me when I need it. Especially because he accepts me for all of me, including my health and mental health issues. This is just frustrating.