Throw away because i am scared of him finding this. I, 26F, have been dating my boyfriend 29M who I will call Jake, for a little over two years. Our relationship overall has been amazing, we aren't officially engaged but we have talked about getting married and have started making plans to. About 6 months ago, Jake and I decided to move in together as our first big step as a couple.

Jake has always been very loving and affectionate, but as we have began living together, I have noticed some changes in behavior with him that I can't totally explain. There have been a few little things which have begun piling up and has left me questioning the relationship.

We both work from home, prior to living together I would usually eat leftovers or something quick during the day. But since living together, Jake has frequently offered to pick us up lunch. I am not very picky, so he usually picks a fast food restaurant and grabs us lunch. He will leave the house, pick up lunch, come home and put it on a plate for me and bring it into the office. What is weird about this, is I have slowly noticed the portion size getting bigger. I noticed it for the first time this week when he bought us Canes. I used to only get a 3-4 piece but this day I noticed there were 6. I asked him about it and he shrugged it off and said he just ordered what he thought I always got. Later this week, I was feeling crazy after finishing the lunch he brought me so I checked the trash and noticed that the fry container was a size large, when I used to only order a size small. Yes, I should have probably noticed this but I usually eat lunch while working and sort of eat mindlessly. Again, I asked him about it and he shrugged it off saying that I ate them all so he just ordered a bigger size. I started crying because I was feeling self-conscious about him noticing that I was eating more and he rushed to comfort me and assure me that I was beautiful and that he didn't mean it in a bad way, he just wanted to make me happy.

Additionally everyday, Jake has starting making me breakfast in bed. At first, I thought this was a sweet gesture. Even though I don't usually eat breakfast, I thought that it was kind of him to make me breakfast. He makes me a smoothie or a protein shake nearly every day and sometimes he will make me toast or pancakes as well. He doesn't eat with me though which I thought was odd. Instead, he just cuddles with me in bed. He will tell me I am beautiful and offer to get me seconds, but he never eats anything himself.

I know, it sounds like I am complaining about my boyfriend making me breakfast. But like I said, I don't think that any of these things are weird on their own but it is the combination of everything that is making me start to question things.

As far as cooking and snacks, I work a lot more than he does so Jake does most of the grocery shopping and cooking. He always make sure that the pantry is stocked with my favorite snacks and will bring them into my office throughout the day which I always just thought of as a kind gesture. But now I am noticing that he is maybe a little eager about it all.

I had two dogs when we moved in together, and who I take on walks twice a day for some exercise for both them and myself. Since living together, Jake has fully taken over walk duty for the dogs. At first, I appreciated it because I was working so much and it saved me time. But last week, I just wanted some fresh air but when I offered to walk the dogs, he became almost anger and insisted on taking them. I didn't want to fight so I just let him do it.

The biggest thing that has made me start to question all of these little things comes from how much weight I have put on since living together. Of course, gaining some relationship weight in healthy and normal I know this. But this is way more than I every normally have in such a short amount of time I have gained over 50lbs in the last 6 months. I am starting to feel like Tim Allen in the Santa Claus. My clothes don't fit, my mom made a comment about it that really hurt my feelings, and I am starting to feel really out of shape. I tried mentioning it to Jake, but he shut me down just asserting how beautiful I am. Where I began to notice the real change though was in Jake's affection towards me. He has always been affectionate, but as I have gained weight he has become incredibly physical in always trying to touch me and hold me, way more than normal. Particularly, he will gently squeeze my arms and try and fit his hand around them which made me feel very self conscious. During intimacy, he will try to grab my waist or even grab my sides or touch my belly and it has made me very uneasy. But again, every time he has just complimented me and told me I look beautiful and has never commented on the weight directly. I thought maybe he was just trying to make me feel comfortable with with the weight I have put on, up until I accidentally snooped on him laptop yesterday.

I grabbed his laptop off of the counter thinking it was mine (same laptop, same case, open to reddit) and noticed it was on a subreddit full of naked women. I quickly slammed it closed and put it back on the counter ( I know he is a man who looks at porn, I just don't need to actually see it) but what did stand out to me (before I closed it) that they were all much larger women. I had already closed the laptop so I couldn't look at the subthread, but now I can't get it out of my head. He had never mentioned this to me before and I did not know that it was something that he was into. Before we moved in together, I was always a fairly healthy weight and fairly active.

I don't know how to bring this up with him. I am scared of accusing him of having a fedish or even worse, intentionally trying to make me gain weight or something? If I am wrong, that is a weird and crazy thing to accuse him of but if I am right, I am not sure what it means for our relationship. How do I talk about this with him without sounding insane or like I am blaming him for me gaining weight.