TW: Animal Abuse

I'm (30F) married to Daniel (32M), we've been together for 10 years and have moved all over the country because of Daniel's military career.

Daniel left the military this year and we bought a house in July, we're located in Arizona. Most of Daniel's family lives in Texas, but Daniel's sister Rebecca (30F) just moved to California with her husband Josh (33M).

Since Rebecca and Josh are super close to us now, and we all get along really well, we invited them over for the holidays with their newborn. So far we know they're coming over for Thanksgiving this year, possibly Christmas as well.

Some information, Daniel (my husband) has a sister (Rebecca who I've already mentioned), and a brother, Nathan. Nathan is married to Rachel and they have two boys. Daniel's parents are both in the picture as well, Cindy and Robert. I don't know their ages, I'm sorry.

I do not get along with Rachel or Nathan, my husband's brother and sister in law. Long story short, I went to one of my nephews birthday parties and it was outside in Rachel and Nathan's front yard. A neighbors dog came up to all of the kids wagging it's tail wanting to play, very friendly dog. Everyone was petting this dog, myself included. Rachel walked out of the house, saw the dog playing with her kids, hit it multiple times in the face and yelled for it to get out of her yard.

I am a animal lover and I lost my shit. I told my husband I needed to leave before I did something I regret, Rachel said I caused a scene. Nathan didn't seem to think his wife hitting a dog for no reason was a problem. Rachel went to every single family member of my husband's and said I called her an evil bitch, which I didn't. I have heard from other people that Rachel has been cruel to other dogs. So yeah, ever since that day I have refused to interact with Rachel, so that's why I don't like those two.

So, we invite Rebecca and Josh over. Rebecca tells Cindy (My husband's mom) that they're coming over our house for Thanksgiving, so Cindy says that her and Robert (my husband's dad) are coming over too without asking me or my husband if that's okay. Fine. My husband misses his parents, we'll make it work. But then Rebecca informs me today that Rachel and Nathan have invited themselves over to our house as well, along with their two boys.

First off, we just moved into this house and we aren't ready to host so many people. We can deal with my husband's parents, but we can't handle 4 other people right now. Apparently Rachel and Nathan have told our two nephews that seeing uncle Daniel is their Christmas present this year, and they're super excited.

I'm furious. I know my husband wants to see his family, he misses his nephews and brother, and I think Rachel took advantage of that and invited herself over knowing I don't want her here. She has told her two children that uncle Daniel wants to see them and this is their Christmas present, and she has also claimed that we have to let them stay at our house because they cannot afford a hotel room.

Not one person has asked if it was okay to stay here, no one has called my husband or me about this. If they all show up on Thanksgiving day I'm worried about the safety of my two dogs. If Rachel starts anything with me I will defend myself, if she hits one of my dogs I will do things to her that I cannot say on Reddit.

My husband should be able to see his family during the holidays, and I don't want to be the one to tell him no, but I don't want Rachel here. Everyone but her would be fine. I don't know what to do. This was going to be a fun small get together that has turned into a nightmare. Please, I need advice on what to do.

UPDATE

Y'all please don't upvote this post too much 😭 I don't want to cause even more issues by someone in my husband's family seeing this post.

A lot of you are saying my husband needs to take care of this, he will. He wants me to decide what I want to do and we will go from there.

I came up with a few solutions on my own, but I wanted to see if Reddit had any better ideas. I thought about putting a deadbolt lock on our master bedroom door and keeping our dogs in there away from the guests, I go in there periodically to keep them company while my husband spends time with his family. A few people suggested I get a hotel room, I could but if we we're going down that route I think I would just get a hotel room for Nathan and Rachel and tell them they have to stay there. I personally don't want to do that, we're going to be spending a lot of money on food for everyone, but it is technically a solution.

To make things clear, my husband doesn't like Rachel either. I don't think anyone does, they all kind of just put up with her because she's married to Nathan. My husband told a joke one time around Rachel that wasn't even directed at her and she pinched him so hard that his arm bruised up.

From my understanding, Nathan threatened to divorce Rachel over her being "too harsh" to their kids (I don't know what she did) and she's been going to therapy on and off to improve. Something about childhood abuse, I don't know. I kind of don't care, I was abused as a child and I don't hit dogs or kids, but whatever. Basically Daniel's family is telling me Rachel is "trying" to be better and I think she's medicated now. I just don't know if I fully believe that.

So right now the options are:

1. Tell them no, only Rebecca and Josh were invited. Hurt my mother and father in laws feelings, hurt my nephews feelings.

2. Rebecca, Josh, and Daniel's parents are invited. Nathan, Rachel, and the boys are not. That one will most likely cause conflict, I also feel like that option is a little cruel since the boys won't understand.

3. Call my husband's parents, ask if Rachel is actually going to therapy and taking her meds. Have my husband call Nathan, ask the same questions. If everyone promises she's trying to be better, I might be open to it. ONLY because of my nephews, any relationship her and I could have had was burned years ago.

Maybe there is another option I haven't though of yet, idk. As long as this post doesn't get too popular I'll keep you guys updated.

I really just made this post because I want a mostly peaceful solution, I had to go no contact with my immediate family and I don't want my husband to have to expirence something similar with his brother. That may not be possible anymore, only time will tell.