My boyfriend brought up anal as a really big fetish for him and I bluntly told him that it was already one and done from a past partner and that if he brought it up again, he could find a guy to fuck instead. I don’t know what part of that set him off but he left the room and went outside to punch dents in the garage door. I have known him for 3 years and never seen him do anything like that before. It was like he was a robot and kept punching it over and over and I couldn’t get him to stop. He stopped after a while and was quiet for the rest of the day.

Fast forward to a few days ago when I got home early from work, I accidentally walked in on him using a sextoy; one modeled after an anus. He had denied owning one when I asked him earlier in the relationship so either he lied or had gotten one recently. I told him I felt really hurt/uncomfortable by him using it and wanted him to throw it out. I also didn’t want him to hold onto the idea of doing that with me by using a toy to keep feeding his fetish. He trashed the toy but we now haven’t been intimate since, even when I try to initiate. No idea how to bring up the topic again or come to a solution.