So i (26m) have been hanging out with this girl (23f) for a little over a year and over this time we became very good friends. The girl is absolutely gorgeous but i never considered dating her because i always felt (based on my observations and things she told me from her past) that she doesn't want a serious relationship. For almost a year we were just handing out like regular friends. Sometimes we’d see each other once or twice a week, sometime once a month if we both got busy. Our interactions always felt platonic. No kissing, no hand holding just a hug hello and goodbye.

About 6 weeks ago we went to a techno rave together because we both finished our graduate degree so we wanted to celebrate and we are the only 2 people in our group of friends who like techno. So we went just the two of us. We got a little drunk and ended up dancing quite intimately, she was playing with my hair, massaging the back of my head/neck, putting my hand on her ass, and grinding on me. But it didnt go further than that because i thought if i escalate things it could ruin the friendship.

A couple of weeks later we were hanging out in a group again not too far from my house. We ended up staying up until 4 am at which point everyone left and I was about to go home too. This girl lives a bit far away to i asked her if she wants me to get her a taxi or if she just wants to crash at my place for the night since its so close. She wanted to stay at my place which was totally fine and I was planning to let her sleep on the bed and i would take the couch so she is comfortable. But once we got home she said it would be silly for me to sleep on the couch in my own apartment and said she is comfortable sleeping together. I didnt think too much of it and just tried to fall asleep cause it was almost 5 am and i was really tired. But then she started caressing my arm, playing with my hand and then all together turned my whole body around so that i was spooning her, and backed her ass into my groin. Again she was putting my arms where she wanted them, her waist her thigh, her butt etc. I played along cause i mean who doesnt like to cuddle but again did not escalate anywhere. My thinking was its 5am and my brain is definitely not in a position to make rational choices.

Fast forward another week, this girl is leaving for a holiday for 6 weeks so we wont see each other for a while. So i invited her over to my place to hang out and say goodbye. We were drinking some wine when she asked me “I have a personal question to ask. Do you like me as a friend or as a potential girlfriend?” to which i replied “I have always viewed our relationship as that of very good friends.” i also added “I know some of the things we have done in the past couple of weeks may not be things friends usually do but nevertheless i value our friendship and would not want to jeopardise it.” She said she feels the same way and views me as a friend and said while it is sometimes great when friends begin a relationship she does not want to risk loosing a great friend because they are hard to find. I just said “i am glad we are on the same page” and that conversation ended. Then we watched a movie. After the movie finished she said “should we go to bed?”. Once again i didnt think much of it especially after the conversation we had, i just thought she is tired and doesnt feel like going all the way home. We go to bed and the same thing that happened last time happened. She initiates very intimate cuddling, sometimes gently kisses my hand and my chest etc etc. Once again i kind of matched her energy and pecked her neck and back when spooning. In the morning when im making breakfast she comes up behind me gives me a hug and gently bites my neck. Then i walk her to her taxi and we peck each other on the lips to say goodbye.

I am just confused. At this point im just as confused by her actions as i am with my own. The intimate dancing i just thought we both lost ourselves in the moment and watched to enjoy the rave. The first time we slept in the same bed i thought ok its 5 am shes super tired and she just likes to cuddle i doubt this means anything more. But the third time she does all that after we just said we see each other as friends… Im confused. I feel like i should just ask her directly if she wants our relationship to have something more physical happen. Does she want to hook up? I mean ive had friends with benefits relationships before but they were always with “casual” friends and not someone i considered a close friend, so neither of us really cared if the friendship is at risk since we werent that close anyway. But in this case i really consider her a close friend and i dont want to do anything that would jeopardise the friendship. At the same time it feels like im in high school again i mean we are in our mid 20s why cant we be straightforward with each other.

Is it a good idea to talk to her about this and ask her if she wants something physical in our relationship dynamic? Or is it better to just let things progress naturally and match her energy like i have been?

TLDR: After being platonic friends with a girl for a year she started becoming more physical, like initiating intimate cuddling and giving gentle kisses on the cheek. We both agreed that we see each other as friends but she kept initiating what i would consider intimate physical contact (just no sex or making out). Is asking her if she wants something more a good idea?