So hi. let’s start with i’m probably a piece of shit, i know. I really hate that i ever let it get this far and deep, but here we are.

To start, me and my fiancé have been together over 5 years. We got together when we were 17 and 19. He’s truly my best friend and i’m forever grateful i got to share this part of my life with him.

We talked about wanting to have a 3 some for a really long time, but timing or the situation never worked out. We weren’t even looking this night, but it just kind of happened. We were at a rave and i ended up crossing paths with this other guy. Immediately, i felt an insane connection with him and after talking all show i really felt like he was the guy version of me. I threw out the idea to them both and everyone was down. I should probably say i was on a lot of M this night.

Me and the guy i met and even my fiance vibed ALL night long and really developed a strong friendship between us 3. When i finally had sex with them, for one i’ve never been so comfortable with an absolute stranger before. It was like i’ve known him my whole life. I had the best time of my life really and as he was hitting it i couldn’t help but think “i fucked up” because of how much i enjoyed and truly felt connected to him. We all exchanged numbers and i thought that would be the end of that.

But, the following monday i was the most depressed i’ve ever been. I couldn’t stop thinking about the guy i met. I brought this up with my fiance that i really like him and it caused major issues. I also brought this up to the guy i met and although he said he did feel an insane connection with me, overall he didn’t like me like that. I tried to move on, tried to get my fiancés trust back and work our love back up. But i kept texting the new guy and realized were SO much more alike that i thought. He’s since fallen for me as well and we talk/facetime everyday. I really really like this guy and could see myself with him for the rest of my life.

It’s been 2 months now and i am not in love with my fiance anymore and really don’t know what to do. My fiance deserves a woman that would give her all to him, and that’s always been me up until this point. I’m not happy im not proud of any of this. I feel like im only in this relationship because i got with him when i was 17 and it’s comforting knowing i have him. im 22 and feel like time is slipping me by. I love my fiance i do he’s my best friend but im so conflicted on what to do. I never want to hurt him, but i feel like im only hurting myself and making this worse on everyone. But what will he think, my family, his family. I don’t want to the be the bad guy in anyones story. God i hate myself so much. Thanks in advance for any words, kind or not. I don’t necessarily deserve niceness.