My (33F) boyfriend (29M) and I have a great relationship for the most part. We have been together for over a year. He moved in with me about 2 months ago - it was difficult for the first couple weeks but we worked through some issues and our relationship has improved significantly since living together. Our biggest conflict is my child (11M) and the way that I choose to parent. My boyfriend gets upset that my son is not more self sufficient and relies on me to do a lot of things for him (cooking his meals, washing dishes, waking him up in the morning for school, washing/putting away laundry). While I do recognize that I could push my son to do more for himself to help him learn a little more responsibility and independence, I don't mind doing these things for him. I don't view it as an inconvenience- he's my child and I just want him to enjoy being a kid while he can.

The way my boyfriend and I grew up is very different. He had to learn to be self sufficient very early on and doesn't understand why my son doesn't do these kind of things on his own. Where as I didn't really have to take on these sort of tasks until my teenage years, and even then I wasn't expected to do everything myself. I am a fully self sufficient adult and don't feel like the way I was raised has made me an incapable adult at all where as my boyfriends argument is that if I don't make my son do these things himself he's not going to be a competent or capable adult.

I don't know how to make him see that his point of view isn't the only way to do things. I'm not out here forcing him to do things for my child - that's not his responsibility and especially knowing it does bother him, I don't expect that of him. But I feel like it's my choice how I choose to parent.

I'm wondering if there's some sort of middle ground where we can compromise which is why I'm here seeking advice from outside opinions.

I love my son so much and don't ever want to make him feel like a burden. But I also care deeply for my boyfriend and I really want us to find a way to work through this so it's not always a point of contention.

Has anyone navigated similar situations and found a way to compromise? I feel like it's hard because he doesn't have kids and hasn't really been around kids much so I don't feel that he fully understands..but at the same time I don't want him to feel that his opinion doesn't matter just because he's not a parent himself.