So me and my girlfriend have been dating for 3 months now, and 3 weeks ago she moved to her dorm on campus for college. Before she moved, we were great, no problems, happy, and definitely a healthy relationship. We've been trying to prepare ourselves for the distance that would part us, especially since she'll be farther away in January (she took a program that would let her travel to Asia, we're both in America right now, and she would be there for 3 months)

We always said that we'll figure it out and we'll make it work, but 2 weeks ago we hit a problem, I asked her if I could visit her on campus the following day, and initially she said no because she had a lot to prepare for (it was her last day before classes would start), and it did upset me, she didn't upset me with her choice but I also do miss her and want to visit her before her classes start because I know she'd get busy. She said we wouldn't be able to do much since she has errands, and my emotions and clinginess got the best of me and I said "I'm still willing to drive all the way there just to see you and help you out with whatever you need to do, it doesn't matter what we do as long as I'm with you.", she then changed her mind an hour later and said what time I would be able to go and if I was still able to come, we then discussed it, but later on she took it back and said it wouldn't be a good idea. That confused me so because of the back-and-forth decisions, so I tried convincing her it was, but little did I know I started making her feel "unheard" because I was trying so much to see her, which at that moment, I did not realize. It triggered one of her traumas of "feeling unheard" and it gave her a big bad panic attack, I did not respond well to it because I tried calling her and spammed her with messages to ask if she was okay. This was the first time I've seen her do a panic attack and I did not know how to handle it. The following day she said she would rather have some space when she has an attack so she can calm down, we both apologized, she apologized for confusing me and the back-and-forth answers because it led me on, and I apologized for how I made her felt unheard.

Ever since that night, things haven't been the same. A lot of external factors also come to play into this, in my personal life right now, things aren't great, I've felt depressed with what life is giving me right now and for so long I've only had her as a support system, I've become co-dependent, also a reason why I wanted to see her. She also is having it rough right now, she is also going through depression.

This is where we're both conflicted. We both know we're both not okay individually, so it's affecting our relationship. We both admitted that we're so scared of being toxic to each other (for example: since we're both not okay, we're also both scared to open up and share our personal problems because the other person is also having their own problems). We've both become insecure because we still want to be healthy but do not want to stress the other or worry the other about our problems. Basically, we both know we can't put a 100% into a relationship if we're also not 100% on ourselves. So she gave a suggestion, she says she does love me and she does want to go long term with me, because we are both date to marry, and we both love each other so much. But she also suggest we should take a break to focus on each other and be okay mentally, and work on ourselves. She said she would never take interest with anyone else and that she would always be mine, it's just a matter of us working on ourselves.

We're both scared if it's going to work or not, what if things aren't the same after we reconnect? What if we drift away even further. We both want to go back to how we were before she moved. So I clarified with her "Will I still be your boyfriend when we take a break", and she says she doesn't think having a title is a good idea if we aren't talking to each other, but she does promise that she would never find interest in anyone else, romantically or intimately. She promised that her mind, soul, and body is mine and it would be like that forever.

It's just, I can't wrap my head around it, why can't I still be her boyfriend when we're on a break where we're supposed to focus on ourselves? It's just for me when these things happen with couples, they're supposed to grow together, for the betterment of themselves and the relationship too, harmoniously growing individually? So why should we take a break when we can still be together and also work on ourselves? It's just black and white for me right now, it's either we're together through this or we're not. Through thick and thin, through the up's and down's.

I'm really confused guys, what should we go from here if the problem is that we're both struggling with ourselves individually, mentally not okay? Should we take a break to work on ourselves and give up the title BF/GF (even though we promise to go back to each other (but even then, what happens if that doesn't happen)), or should we stay together? I'm out of options.

I know she has good intentions for us, she wants me to focus on myself and she wants to do so too so we can be mentally okay individually when we’re in relationship, what do I do?