I (26M) have trouble making friends and recently, some portion of my social circle got slightly distant and while I thrive in low-maintenance, no-need-for-effort friendships and I am alright with not knowing a lot of people, just some friends, there are times when i feel like i want to make friends, just someone i can vibe with, someone who can talk to me, and we become well, friends.

My partner (22F) believes I will just find a single and attractive woman because that's the thrill I like finding in friendships, "friends, but you know it's someone you can fall back on if ever the relationship fails" - her words

She said my ex and I share that behavior, because it happened with an ex-girl best friend of mine who we later realized was manipulating our friendship to her benefit (whole other story), because it also happened when we tried looking for friends together, and i'll just keep on doing that, and well, because my ex rn is doing smth weird and trying to somehow rekindle shit w me. (Not into it, very weirded out, we had a good breakup bro and we got civil. Why you gotta make drama?)

She says she'll try to find a boy bestfriend and let me see how it feels

I'm all out of sorts, the distrust for this runs deep in the relationship (maybe biggest one imo) but, i honestly just wanted to have friends.

We acknowledged I had a pattern but, I feel like every time I will try to initiate friendships with anyone, she will think it's because I'm starting to like them, all the people I befriended before were admittedly good looking women and another issue was I dont befriend dudes (I befriend women better, is that bad?) or friends i won't find attractive but, i find people in my other friend groups cute and handsome even hot but i don't think i'll do anything with them, i don't like them but i am supportive that way and i also have some ugly ass friends no hate for them but that just sounds mean to think of a friend, she'll think it's because i like them, so what do i find someone who i know i'll think she'll think is ugly so i can make friends? when my genuine intention for friendship is having friends. (Yes, sfw, no muss, no fuss, i just want a social creature connection) But I feel like every time I find one they'll be put to her scrutiny? I just want to have friends.

Personally, everything just confuses me because i just think I'm just emotionally dumb to know about what to do in this relationship, what will you do if you are in my shoes?

Anything you guys can share to help would be greatly appreciated 🍺