This is how blunt I (f29) want to be with my partner (m25). But I don't want to create more pressure or make him feel inadequate.

Background: We have been together for a year and have a child, so I've mostly thought that was the reason we have been kinda bland with our sex life. In the beginning of our relationship, it was an ok sex life. I made it clear that I was sensitive about not being able to cum easily, and we tried using toys but he got really upset when it was taking me awhile and I have been trying to be more indirect with asking for him to help me out to orgasm. It's also been hard because he's been cumming really quick since we moved in together and doesn't have alot of knowledge of sex and pleasing a woman. He has trauma from his teenage years about sex, porn and masterbating. Like got sent to church conversion camp for it. So anytime we have tried anything besides missionary or cowgirl, he gets really awkward. Like so bad he doesn't even like open mouth kissing, so def doesn't like foreplay with fingering or eating me out. It makes me want to withhold sexual acts unless he does those things but that feels wrong.

And being he can't or won't make me cum, I feel guilty and ashamed to masterbate. Cause it feels like I'm giving up and I'm afraid that he will find out im doing it behind his back. I've always struggled with being able to cum, and it makes me feel broken. I've been thinking that it's because I've gained some weight that it's been even harder to do it and the stress isn't making it any better.

Any advice, I know that's alot but I just don't know how to be blunt without making it feel like it's his fault.