I’m really struggling, we used to have a pretty good sex life and then it had a major decline. I’ve been getting rejected left and right. I’ve been bringing this up a lot, crying to myself and having a really hard time.

I asked him these questions: Did I do something to turn him off? Are you stressed/worried/fatigued? Is there anything I can do to improve this or should I stop initiating all together?

He said that there’s nothing I did, life is going amazingly, and that he does like to feel desired but just not feeling in the mood. He said that he has been thinking about if he’s asexual because he doesn’t even think about sex, does not think about masturbating, when he sees me naked he doesn’t think about doing anything sexual… I’m very understanding and I want to be respectful of his thoughts/feelings. I can’t help feeling upset, I can’t help that I feel like my sex life was just ripped away from me.

He seems sincere, so I don’t know if this is an excuse- I believe that this is really what he’s been thinking about.

I don’t know how to navigate this, I don’t know what questions are disrespectful to this new situation. Is it disrespectful to ask if he can help me out sometimes? Does asexuality mean that he doesn’t want to be involved with ANYTHING intimacy related?

What I’m asking for is, what could be considered disrespectful? Or what could possibly be a good even ground? I’m trying to write a list of questions and solutions I could bring up to him so any suggestions would be great.

We live together and I do love him very much- the “just leave him” comments are annoying and useless so don’t even bother.