We've been dating for 6 months and met through apps. What drew me to her is that our core values are extremely compatible. Same religious, financial, political, kids, career, child-rearing, family, lifestyle type of values. I enjoy talking to her, we can have really deep conversations, and I feel like I can throw out weird shower thoughts and then we talk for half an hour about evolutionary psychology. We've met each other's friends and families, and everything's great in that regard.

To keep it short, there are a few things that make me think hard as we get into the full year bend:

• I don't like her natural scent. She's a hygienic, clean woman. It's nothing to do with her perfume or makeup. Just that when we're close or cuddling, her natural skin scent just...isn't what I want to smell. Yes, I've read the stuff about pheromones and immune systems. I wonder if I should bring up genetic testing with her, although that may be a stretch lol.

• While we do have good deep conversations periodically, I feel like we haven't developed a banter. Kind of like when you have a shorthand for the other person's thoughts. I'm like that with a bunch of my friends. I don't know if it's too soon to expect it. We do have a couple of inside jokes. But sometimes over text and in person, we have to re-explain jokes, or ask "what did you mean by that" and I feel like we never really get rolling into a groove, sometimes we're still having stilted early-relationship type communication.

• We enjoy sex together, but sometimes she doesn't get wet enough and needs lube, and it makes me wonder if I'm not doing something she wants, because she said it was never a problem before. She's a little less playful in the sack. Not that I'm some person with kinks, I mean like just doing it on the couch instead of the bed. Although when she's less wet and sometimes very tight, any altered position can seem very mechanical to get things going without pain from either of us. Or when I use body language to move a limb or roll around a little and have fun with it, she's just a little more rigid and I don't feel like we have the same way of expressing ourselves during sex. I've asked her about it and I don't get the feeling she wants to change much.

• Kind of on that subject, but she flat out told me she won't give blowjobs. I don't want to be a pest about it, but I asked if it was something like I should eat pineapples for a few months or make sure to shower right before. She said she just plain doesn't like the sensation of it in her mouth, but she could maybe do it once in a while on special occasions. I had probably gone down on her a couple dozen times before I asked about reciprocation. Since then, I kind of trailed off and have stopped going down on her. Not out of revenge, it just seems less fun when I'm the only one doing it. She doesn't mind me not doing it though.

I'm not some big sex maniac. I can live the rest of my life with a wife that doesn't want anal, or choking, or any of the stuff most women complain about. But I always hoped for enthusiastic, playful, loving sex. I don't mind if we take time to explore each other's bodies unsuccessfully at first, and make mistakes and get better, all while learning and laughing and having an open attitude about it throughout. But I don't sense that same degree of curiosity or desire in her. And rather than looking forward to that first moment where we'll see each other again when we can get down to it, I find myself shrugging and thinking "eh, if it happens this weekend, it happens", which is kind of unlike me.

There are a few smaller things in importance that stick in my mind, but I don't want to go too long. I'm wondering if this stuff is nitpicky, and for the long run the most important thing is having the core value stuff aligned (which I really think we do. I could see her as a real partner through the ups and downs of life, at each other's sides, more so than any other girl I've dated). Or if the accumulation of these small things can eventually wear on you to become a big thing.

I'm willing to try to improve any of these things with her, but I don't know if these are the things where if your puzzle pieces haven't cleanly fit together by 9 months in, then that's probably where you stand.