Me [22M] and my girl [24F] have been in a relationship for almost 5 years now. Some background info: We’ve recently graduated college and I’m working my first full time job making $47k in New York. My girl makes $100k as a nurse. Recently, she’s been bringing up how she can’t wait forever to get married and how she’s seeing everyone get engaged and houses. Her career while early on is definitely more fruitful and I am looking to ensure my finances and career are in stone before I get on one knee for her so I can truly give her a wedding and future she deserves. We’ve been constantly going over whether the right time to move in is before or after engagement/marriage.

My side: I grew up with divorced parents and I think it makes me bias but I feel moving in together and making it work is a big part of making a marriage work and I want to take time to figure out the kinks prior to marriage. I love and am fully committed to my girlfriend, married or not I am willing to do whatever to make sure we flourish together.

GF’s Side: My girlfriend believes that marriage/engagement should come prior to moving in together, as it’s just the right thing to do. She is worried I would end up never marrying her if we were living together engaged and she would end up doing “wifey things on a girlfriend status”. She doesn’t think I’m the type to do that but rather your chances of getting married significantly decrease.

Let me know what you guys think. I feel like I’m crazy for my view.

TLDR: GF wants to be engaged/married before moving in, Im not financially ready for marriage and don’t.