I just broke up with my partner who I have known for 3 years. Her and I met abroad and dated long distance for a year. She is from Middle East and i'm from USA. We knew each other for longer than that. 

She is a dentist and is a very regimented person. She dresses beautifully, wears nice jewelry, works out, takes care of herself. She, in school, got literally the best grades because of her competitive spirit to do good for herself and high esteem. When she graduated dental school, she got an offer to work in a clinic for 2 years. Things were great, she would go to work, we would text all day,  she was happy. We would fly out and meet eachcother several times a year. I noticed that she gets literally rapid depression when things dont work out. For example, when we traveled, she would cry if, for example, a reservation was the wrong time. One time, some of her pictures got deleted on her phone and she cried. She cried once how I didnt text exactly the right thing. She also does not differentiate between mistakes and intentional things. For example, her sister went an hour away to deliver a file for her, and it was the wrong file, she then cried and ignored her sister. One time, I lost a folder and she cried. Another person had the folder, but she refused to ask them as the timing was bad. She is such a perfectionist. 

She is, when she's not worried, a very sweet, humane, and great person.

When her contract ended, she couldn't find work because her country is terrible. She saw it as her creativity and ambitious spirit could not continue to grow in this capacity. She locked herself in her room back home and would not come out. She stopped eating. her mom and sister begged for her to come out and she did not listen. I also asked her over text and she would not do it. She has other problems too, only one parent in the picture, terrible landlord, living off little funds, no apparent future. 

Throughout the 3 years I have known her I have helped her with an unbelievable amount of things. Anything she works on I offer to help. Doing an application, writing a paper, resume, format changes on files, helping her with her social media settings, helping her travel, apply for visas, for programs, paying for small things. To be clear, I am very good at determining when someone is taking advantage of me and I do not think she is. She is also very honest and has good morals. The reason im mentioning this is, I feel like I have done more for this woman than anyone else to their spouse ever. I literally drove myself restless figuring out how to help her life. 

I did 2 years of immigration studies and helped her apply for a visa. Even went to the embassy with her (3 flights over 3 continents.) Thank God, she got a visa, and has lived with me for 3 months now here in the USA. However, we have broken up twice in a few months. 

Here are the issues:

1. She wants me to change so much. She wants me to, eat better, brush teeth more, dont drink this because it has this much sugar, limit my soft drinks, stop vaping, dont wear these type of clothes, dont act this way, wake up earlier, go to the gym more. It is so much I feel it's a bit controlling and I feel like she's my mom. She loves me truly and wants the best for me, but when I ask her for things, she doesn't do them

2. She is extremely stubborn. If she doesn't want something, she is not going to do it, and she will give every reason as to why her defense is valid. I feel like I am talking to a lawyer when I give her my complaint. Hey, you didnt do this and it made me feel this way. She then either deflects and says she was also upset, or gives many justifications as to why she's right. She admits she is stubborn but always seems like its justified by how I am not doing the right thing 

She got to my state and noticed I lived with a fan on, AC, and blinds closed. It is hot where I live. She requested the vent be shut, fan turned off, and all blinds opened. I obliged even though it is not great. As the sunshine hits my face, she calls her mom every morning and every night. I am still sleeping and she is screaming at her mom on FaceTime. I tell her please dont talk loudly on the phone when someone is sleeping, and she gets upset and thinks im telling her to stop talking to her mom. She continues to do it.

Further, if me or her family beg her to talk when she's mad, does not matter, she will not do it.  

1. She critiques me alot and doesn't compliment me enough. She is very quick to say how I have gained weight, didnt pick out a good outfit, have a bad choice in personal hygiene like my beard being too long, and very rarely ever says im cute or good looking, although I tell her she is all the time. When I confront her about this she says she just wants the best for me.

Her room is an absolute mess. Not in any regard unclean, but Jewelry, clothes, makeup scatter everywhere. Looks like a bomb exploded. However, if I leave a towel on the ground she freaks out. If I put my shoes in a bad spot she freaks out. 

1. She is very high maintenance. The reservation must be set, the jewelry must be perfect, outfit matches, hair just right, sun good. If it's not she gets sad and might cry. We will get ready to go out for 3 hours, she will ask for 40 pictures, then say the sun is too low, and then it seems our night is ruined. Once, she took a picture outside a building and then complained how they lowered the flags, and how the picture wasn't good anymore. she then left. We have so many of these little death of the fun evenings over the silliest stuff. 

2. Lastly, grossly unaware of the situation. Although I have done everything for her and ask nothing in return, she still is unhappy with me, points out what im not doing right, complains, and is not happy. Fails to see she is living in America with a loving new family and I treat her like a princess. I have tried being strategically silent, like, ignoring her to evict an apology, and it rarely happens. I am told this is normal where she comes from, like the silent came doesn't work.

So, ignoring her doesn't help me get a response, and communicating with her is futile as she always spins it back on me. What do I do? I really love her, and she really loves me. We are both new to dating and I guess aren't good at it. I am her first real boyfriend and likewise, she was my first real GF.  I dont want the answer to be, stay broken up. I think honestly that her newness to dating, her previous challenges with her live back home and new adjustments here, and perfectionist attitude cause these issues. Also, I know that, if I stay broken up with her, she will literally suffer, will lock herself in the room and cry, and be miserable. She even mentioned that she would be willing to move into a homeless shelter if she absolutely had to. Her decision making is so bad and I think it's a result of her hectic life and I really want to help her. 

Can anyone that is good that can match emotions to historical reasoning help? For example, the is acting this way because of this reason you mentioned, they're exclusive traits often seen in these type of people, etc. 

 
PS- These are the bad things about her. She has many good traits I do not need to mention. Please be cordial to her and I in your commenting.