My ex is many things, and he refuses to admite or own and can't even say out loud the many caught acts of cheating, year long mental abuse, still more cheating and is an insane pathological lier... I keep knowing this , and i convence myself if only he told me the truth or said what he did (it's proven)word for word, thebbhe coukd change and get help, but the most he says is "I'm sorry I hurt you , I'm trying I want to be better and I'm going to get help" but can not even when asked say what he has done even when I point it out

My thing is - he is either cold hearted narcissist

Or..... he's hiding an extreme sex addiction

But if he has feelings then it's worth trying to help him and understand

Im so Conflicted im hurting myself over him.... like it most be so fuxking hard to hide so much. I know for a fact some things he doesn't think I know and I beg him to talk to me. I've had drug addiction but what im.seeing him hiding this seems way worse and hurtful mentally if he has those feelings which im.not sure he does

And I recently discovered more while he's tries tk "win me back" and its sad. He gaslights still ,,,so if he actually has an addiction i want to keepnloving him but he could also be a calculating and cruel person which he has proven to be too!!

He has had me on my deathbed in hurt and lies and mentalnabuse. And yet I'm back , sorta.

We have a.1 year old son so I'm stupidly connected to him til.hes 18 now and I want my family:( and I don't have any experience besides him.and one other ex.

Meanwhile I'm losing this great guy who's been so kind and I can see him being a step dad to.my son and actual real partner to me- but I'm nit interested and he's a whole package Not to mention all the other guys and possibilities I've shut down out of insecurities and want of my exs openess- yes maybe the main thing is I wish he could just talk to me

It's so confusing, But I keep getting pulled towards my ex , If no contact was a thing I'd do that but I cant cause my son and it makes it impossible to move on

He's made.it clear recently I won't ever get from him what I've basically begged for

So why is it so hard to reach out to someone who does think I'm worth it ? And simply stop my feelings for hil