I'm 33M and have been dating someone, 30F, for about a year. About 4 or 5 months into our relationship I told her I wasn't seeing things long-term with her and it turned out she was feeling the same way and she suggested we be FWBs. We could continue to seek out other dates and when we found someone we wanted to focus on we would have to say goodbye to each other (unless the person we found was cool with ENM, which we are both curious about).

That was great, it was like a weight off my shoulders. I no longer had to put her in this box of "my future wife". I could just enjoy spending time with her and the physical connection as well. I genuinely like her, I just was not sure I was falling in love with her.

It's been about 6 months since then and while my feelings have certainly grown somewhat I still don't feel like I'm in love. I don't feel like she's "the one". Though we did acknowledge we are something more than FWBs. We haven't really been doing anything differently than a normal couple would do. We hang out and have a sleepover pretty much once a week, we even went on a short trip together recently.

I think her feelings for me have gotten ahead of where I am at. I know we need to just talk about it but I am so unsure of how I feel. I feel like deciding to officially date again would be like saying "yes, I want to marry and have a life with you". Which is a giant, life altering decision, and scary. To be honest I don't think I picture myself having a life with her. I can't pinpoint any one thing or even a collection of things about her that makes me feel this way, I just feel it.

I think she would be a good partner, we get along very well, she pretty hot and the sexual chemistry is good (but I still think about finding a more attractive partner, I know looks aren't everything but I think I could do better in this area). She has a decent job but maybe not as good as I would hope for my life partner. Money is not really something we've talked about but it's very important to me as I am a high earner and hope to retire early in the next ~10 years. I want a partner who would help make this happen, not make it harder to achieve. I don't think she has a lot saved up but I don't think she's deep in debt or anything like that either.

The bottom line is that I want to find someone who makes the decision easy, someone who I can't imagine spending my life without. Maybe I'm just too pragmatic of a person for that though. Or maybe I'm afraid of commitment. How was it for you?