So my BF (26M) and I (26F) have been dating for 4 years and it's been going pretty good, but recently i’ve told him i fantasize of him sleeping with another girl.. so I found someone that does and boooked her. and after they did it. It just bothered the fuck out of me even though i let him and told him i wanted him to sleep with other girls. Whenever I think about it it kills to the point that i wanted to breakup with him, when it happened after it felt surreal and i dont see him the same anymore… idk what to do i feel so lost..

Ive been talking to him about it and he said that i pushed him to do it so he did but he had the right to say no but i let him do it i told hin he took thqt chance and he did it. I feel like our 4 year relationship is going down the drain.

I can’t imagine this is actually happening to me… ’m struggling to talk to him, look at him, and move past this. Am I overreacting? What should I do and is this something that I should move on from?