I realize the whole "dating up/down" is a pretty terrible way to look at things and cannot be measured in any quantifiable way, but I think there is something to it.

I've (33M) been in a year-long relationship with a woman (31F) that has been fairly casual. We met on an app and did the traditional dating thing for 4 or 5 months. I realized I didn't see anything long-term with her and told her. Turned out she felt the same way and suggested friends with benefits. Which was great, exactly how I saw our relationship.

It's been about 6 months since then and feelings have definitely developed further for her. I think she may be falling in love. We acknowledged that we are more than FWBs but I still don't think I see things long term with her.

I think she's great, but in past relationships when I thought about my partner I had this "wow" feeling. This "she is so cool, impressive, and successful and way too good for me" feeling. I don't have that in my current relationship. I enjoy spending time with her, I enjoy the sex and companionship, the friendship we have built. But I'm just not excited at the prospect of spending my life with her.

I've been in relationships where I felt I was "dating up" before, they ended for their own reasons. I ended one and another ended mutually, on good terms. I still think about the last one and if she is still single. I saw her on a dating app around a year ago (we broke up 3 years ago) and I know she swiped right on me, but I couldn't bring myself to ever swipe on her.

I'm just curious what your take is. Do you feel like you're "dating up" in your relationship? Is the best kind of relationship one where both partners feel like they are dating up? Is it even something that has crossed your mind?