myself (32m) and my wife (30f) seperated for 2 years (still lived together). we ultimately decided to give it another shot and have been doing better. however, during that seperation she was diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic lung cancer. we have 3 kids together, and i also have a daughter who is 7 months old and currently going through multiple open heart surgeries. my wife brought up the idea of an open marriage because she loves me for the intimacy, the love, and the comfort, and wouldnt trade that for the world. but also wants to live out a few physical fantasies with the short time she has left. i agreed.

i agreed because i know she loves me, and i love her, but i also know that i would feel like a terrible husband if i denied her those fantasies that i couldnt fulfill before her time was up. yeah it hurts a bit. and while i have the freedom to do what i want with who i want whenever i want, i choose to spend my time either at work, at the hospital with my daughter, or with my boys. not to say i wouldnt like to live that open marriage lifestyle, but im socially awkward.

i guess my question is, am i a good person in this situation? putting my feelings and ideals on hold so she can live what little life she has left to the fullest? and will i feel good about this decision in the long run, will i feel like i did the right thing?