I've been with my boyfriend for 10 years and when we started out, we would have a lot of sex. He's never been that intimate, barely any to no foreplay and very minimal with kisses. He kisses like he doesn't know how to kiss tbh. He's been in the military, he watches a lot of porn and he used to date girls who were never serious about him so I'm pretty sure I can see why he has a lack of comfort with intimacy, however I'm wondering if I'll always feel like I'll be left wanting more physically. We're supportive with the rest of our life. Financially we both work and take care of one another. We take trips, plan date nights, go to music events, pay bills equally, take care of the house, surprise one another with gifts, etc. but in the bedroom, it's ice cold. We've been together a long time and I've tried to spice it up a few times. I've had another girl in bed with us, so he can watch and enjoy, however he doesn't seem to understand or respect boundaries which makes sharing difficult. We've met with other couples on two other occasions, but again the lack of respect or understanding of boundaries gets in the way. Once we went out and he literally wanted us to mess with the woman in a couple/couple scenario while her partner was incapacitated in the bathroom, but I refused to do that because that's not right and he told me I was getting in the way of it.. It seems he usually just turns to his porn when it's just us at home. Unless I literally walk up to him naked or in lingerie, we rarely ever touch.. but if it's us going out to a topless party or a party with another couple, he gets super excited. I feel like a bro more than a girlfriend. It's very frustrating, because I'm an extremely intimate person who loves affection. I just feel like he's not attracted to me as much as he's attracted to having me around so we can do things with other people together. I'm more about my partner then others if/when the situation comes up, but it seems like the opposite for him. I'm huge on learning about others and respecting their boundaries, but he prefers to do what he wants in the moment without thinking about others. I know it's a very interesting situation and not everyone does these things, but I was wondering if anyone who dabbles in couple play has dealt with anything like this before? Or if any men/ladies have been with someone who has this way of thinking.