Hi I hope you're all doing well. I am currently on my 2nd night of a 3 night holiday. It's my first getaway since 2018.

For context I am in a polyamourous relationship which is open. My partners ex makes me incredibly uncomfortable. Recently my anxiety has gotten to the point of making me sick.

Today a close friend N was checking in on my holiday when they mentioned that my partner was having their ex around Monday night and we're surprised I didn't know. Their ex is moving away and they are going to stay the night and say goodbye.

I messaged my partner about how it makes me feel (below) and they responded by saying they'd told me about it before, to never talk to them again and they blocked me on Instagram. They've not blocked me on other platforms and we're interacting as usual in group chats. My friends are disgusted and I just feel numb and unwell.

My partner has CPTSD and has been very physically unwell recently and we've been very close. They've had episodes before but they're usually resolved quickly and they've never blocked me. I love them dearly but it's made me very scared.

What do I do in the meantime, do I wait until I'm back from holiday to try and reach out, what do I do?

Message

Hey lovely I hope you're having a fab day xx

N just mentioned in passing that you might be having EX over and I just wanted to talk about disclosure and comfort.

It's really important to me that things like that are disclosed as soon as possible as it's an important part of trust for me (and I do trust you absolutely).

I also want to ask that they do not touch anything of mine - they make me really really uncomfortable in an OCD sense and I just cannot stand the thought of them touching my things, and this is really important for me.

I know it's not totally rational that they trigger me so much but they really do. I've been trying to work through it get over it but it's been a one of the main reasons I've felt so unwell recently after everything made me wobbly. I didn't want to tell you as I didn't want to make you feel pressured or more stressed as you've been so sick yourself. It has been a major reason I've been throwing up I know it's late notice but if they can make alternate sleeping arrangements it'd be appreciated.

You don't have to do anything I've asked and you can just say no and that'd be okay but it is very important to me that I don't hold it to my chest.

Hearing it made me feel sick and nearly have a panic attack. I'm booking another doctor's appointment for as soon as I'm back as I'm not doing well.

And I know my feelings aren't rational and I've got no right to ask you who to see or not to see, I am not going to ask you to do that and I don't want you to cut them off or anything like that I'm happy that you're able to be friends with them but at the moment it's been impacting me terribly. I need to get better at communicating this stuff but I've been hurt so much in my past relationship that I still find it very hard. I love you so much I'm just not doing brill right now, it's a temporary thing but I will need tlc and another doctor's appointment. As I'm really in my head and my anxiety is getting very strong since last weekend.

Please let me know how tomorrow goes, fingers crossed you'll have your cathater out in no time