As stated above, my partner of 5 years finished their professional program over a year ago. Finances have always been a tricky topic between us, as I come from a more financially secure family and have always been fortunate to make money.

When they graduated, I gently reminded them that they should start saving as:

1. Their parents have an expectation that my partner should support them in retirement

2. They have no retirement savings

3. They have significant grad school debt ($100k>)

Furthermore, this has been exacerbated by my partner’s friend group which spends lavishly beyond their means and constantly eat out (two have filed for bankruptcy in their 20s). Everytime I mention this to my partner, they get super defensive.

We both now make over $100k each. At the end of the day, I want us to be able to spend freely, but have a nest egg to fall back on for retirement. How do i encourage them when they only get defensive and refuse to address the issue?