So I ended a relationship with a long-term partner (2.5 years) in Nov/ Dec and have been quite happily single. Around mid-January we had a new player (A) come out to rookie night for my niche sport, as soon as he sat down I was like "who is this attractive man sitting here?" and started chatting with him. I ended up showing him the ropes and we talked a bit. The next week he gave me a ride home and we ended up talking in the car as he'd been through a break-up around a similar time. My previous relationship was poly, he had some questions about that, how we managed sexual health etc, and sex clubs came up as it was something my ex and I occasionally did together. So, right off the bat our conversations were of a sexual nature. We ended up exchanging numbers ,and chatting a lot, and then the following week I asked him out for a drink and we went out and had a good evening, and I put forward that I had reached the point of being single that I was missing physical intimacy, to which he responded "sounds like you're horny" which I said "well, yea, and I think you're very attractive". He basically told me he wasn't ready for intimacy with anyone and we flirted and he touched my butt briefly and then we parted ways. I was crushing HARD for the first little while.

We continued texting, flirting and seeing each other at sports nights, and then he started calling me to chat occasionally (which he does with friends, but I'm not as much of a phone person so it was kind of a *thing* for me). Then he went away for a few weeks on a road trip and called me almost every day to chat and we had some good open conversations and got to know each other more. I was feeling a bit confused about whether there was attraction there from him so I asked him to clarify and he said he did find me attractive but just wasn't wanting to me intimate with anyone at this point and that he was enjoying getting to know me and building a friendship. Eventually, he ended up telling me about something that happened last year with his ex relating to HSV that is playing into his mental state around intimacy, and that he hadn't told anyone else that. Then when he came back he had a gift for me that was really thoughtful and we hung out after the next time we played sports together and chatted in his car - he wanted to make sure it was OK, that he had fun flirting but didn't want me to get confused. I said I would tell him if I needed things to change.

It's been another couple weeks now since he's been back, and we've only hung out at sports sessions and once went for a swim together. I haven't been going as often to play due to an injury. He hasn't been calling to just chat as much but we still text. It's occasionally flirty but not as much. He has also been moving and still works with his recent ex who has been causing stress so has a lot going on.

I don't want a relationship right now, I'm still enjoying my space and being single, but I do like him and would like some level of intimacy, like a friends with benefits situation. However, I know he's not wanting anything with anyone right now and I understand that. So my TL;DR question is - how do I move forward as friends and get rid of any hope/ expectations that something could happen? I'm finding it really hard to stop fantasizing what it might be like to kiss or have sex with him. But I like him as a person and want to be friends if nothing else - just it's kind of messing with my head to not be able to let go of the "what ifs". I think part of why my brain is getting stuck is that he's the first person I've had any interest in since my ex so it was nice to finally feel attracted to someone again. I've also reached a point of feeling kind of touch-deprived but really don't feel interested in pursuing anyone else.

Also, is there a way to basically say "I know where you're at right now but maybe when you are feeling like being intimate with someone again, can you keep me in mind"?